Love and the Power of your Influences

Love.  Have you ever just sat and thought about it, and why you believe what you believe about it?  I have!  I've discovered throughout the years so many faulty beliefs I had about this mysterious, yet needed, part of life's journey.  I've discovered that love is really actually very simple!  What's complex is the emotional aspects that accompany love.  Read that again, and just digest that for a moment.

 

My journey to choosing love has not been an easy one by far.  In fact, as I sit here this morning and write this blog, I can honestly say that relationally, when it comes to a man, I've loved, I mean really, really loved one man my entire life...up until now.  Now, I have had guy friends that I have loved in the past and I have guy friends now that I love deeply.  In fact, my best friend on this planet, Sameer, I can tell you I love with the kind of love that would do anything to be there for him or any member of his family if he needed me.  He is one of my greatest gifts of friendship that God gave me in this life and we will grow old together, as best friends!  In addition to that, I will also love the wife God gives him, and she will become one of my dearest friends also, and I will be there for her, as I am there for him and my prayer is the same when it comes to the man in my life.

Sameer has taught me a lot about love.  As his best friend, I've been privy to his journey, just as he has been privy to mine.  We've talked a lot about "love" over the past 15 years.  What it should be, what it shouldn't be, what it should look like, what it shouldn't look like, and the list goes on.  He's been my blueprint in what I desire in a mate, and I've been his.  The number one thing I've learned by watching Sameer is about commitment!!  He is disciplined and committed when he makes a choice.  He does not let his emotions run his life.  He is solid and logical, yet listens to his heart, which is such an integral part of living life full out!  Something he and I both desire to do!!  These character traits in him have been my greatest influence in my life over the years.  Those traits have inspired me through raising a daughter, when many times I just wanted to give up because I "felt" so inadequate.  They have gotten me through hurts that my heart just wouldn't have been able to take, had it not been for learning discipline and commitment, and the list goes on.  So why am I talking about Sameer?  Well, because I think its an important place to start because had I not had his influence, I would have not been ready for the journey I'm on right now.

I think many times we overlook the power of our influence.  I can tell you that I've inspired many in the journey of "singleness."  I mean, I've been single for 18 years.  People watch me, just as they watch you.  You never know how you may be influencing someone.  Pay attention!  As I'm slowly watching my single life disappear and bring me to the next season of my life, I realize more and more that love is really a choice.  It's choosing to open yourself up to, what I believe, is the greatest risk of your life!  LOVE!  Love has the capacity to rip your world apart.  It also has the capacity to make your world the brightest place on the planet!  I think all of us can say we've been hurt when it comes to love.  After the hurt, we build walls that are nearly impenetrable.  Or, we only let someone so close and then we begin to hunker down and lock areas of our hearts so we remain somewhat safe.  Yet, we rob ourselves so much when we live in the realm of self-preservation.  Then our emotional world may take us down the path of "I don't want to love like this because one day it will be over and one of us will die, and my heart just can't go through that pain."  Oh yea, my emotions take me there too.  I've had to pause and jerk my heart back to living full out in this journey of love that I'm on because I committed to myself, that this girl is living full out!  That my friends is a choice!  I refuse to live behind walls.  I'm choosing to live beyond walls!!   

One of the love stories that has ministered greatly to me recently is that of a couple who have been together for nearly 50 years.   Her husband was diagnosed with cancer sometime ago and I've watched them battle this thing together.  Their story is beautiful and inspiring to me.  Their story influences me!  I've seen pretty amazing marriages over the course of the last decade.  I've seen great examples and I've also seen some not so great examples.  I've seen very selfish individuals in relationships.  It's actually very sad to me.  One thing I've gleaned over these years and have come to know and understand is love, when lived right, is selfless!  If you have two people "choosing" to be selfless for the other person, you've got a give - give equation.  That's how love becomes what it was intended and designed to be!

This love that I've described above is the very love that Jeff, my balancing half, as I refer to him, and I, are getting the opportunity to build right now, with each other.  He and I just seem like we've always been, but at the same time are learning each other; our likes and dislikes, what irritates us, how we should respond to each other in times of frustration, etc.  We talk about everything!  I knew that this relationship was going somewhere when he became the first one I wanted to call when something great was happening, or when something not so great was happening.  He exhibits the kind of commitment and discipline that is a must for me both in life and in a relationship.  He's a breath of fresh air to me because he knows how to have fun!  Laugh....does he make me laugh!!!  He is simple but complex, which I find incredibly exhilarating.  We can have deep, serious conversation at times and then other times we're like two kids just being silly and crazy.  I'm completely myself with him and I feel safe and secure living transparent before him.

As I continue this journey, I want to share as I go because I'm literally putting into practice all the things I've learned over the years.  I'm thankful that this journey did not happen until this time in my life because I feel like I'm at a place where I am able to really do this thing and invest my whole heart.  I'm not looking back, only forward.  With the amazing influences I've had in my life to teach and train me, I'm embracing this journey with great expectations!  I'm thankful that the years of singleness were not just spent waiting, but were spent investing in myself to learn and grow and become a whole person on my own.  Wow, when you are not seeking someone else to fill the holes in your heart, it brings the journey of love to a whole other level.  I've never experienced a human love like this, but I can tell you that its been worth the wait.  So if you're single and still "waiting" let me encourage you to invest in you, during the waiting time.  I would also encourage you to surround yourself with those who have amazing relationships and marriages!  Gleen what you can.  Ask questions, observe them, spend time with them, ask about their story.  Then begin to journal the love story you would like to live.  And for you list makers.....well, I pulled my list back out not too long ago and I found that I was using it to run away from love because it was soooooo "perfect."  I had a good friend of mine call me out on it....thank you Erica!!!  After she called me out on it, I folded up my list, talked to my friend Sameer and he encouraged me to just enjoy the journey.  That's what I did, and you know what?  It's turning out to be the best journey of my life!!  Jeff has all the character traits I desire, and at the end of the day, that's what matters!  

Enjoying the journey....

TDahl        

 

Love's Simplicity

As I sit and write this morning, I'm snuggled up in my bed, I have a yummy cup of coffee sitting on my nightstand, CMT is on, and to make it even better, the best shadow in the entire world is curled up beside me - my dog Dakota!  It's the best!!

 

So this morning, as I spend time just taking in my life right now and really "feeling" the emotions of my heart, I can say I'm overwhelmed in the best way!  I put some things on the back burner recently to just take some time to really process the place I'm at in my life.  This year has been a year of huge changes for me.  I completed the mission of raising a daughter, who graduated from High School this past May.  While she is still at home for a few months (she's working on getting an apartment), the dynamic of our relationship has changed drastically.  We've moved from the "parenting" to "friendship" season.  It's actually pretty amazing.  Mikayla, I think, has had more struggle with this shift than I have.  I have actually enjoyed the transition.  I reflect on that season of my life with my mom, and when the shift took place for me, and I honestly struggled too.  A few days ago, Mikayla was upset about something and was just venting about just daily life frustrations, I paused for a moment to really listen to what she wasn't saying.  After I discovered what she was trying to communicate, I just looked at her and said, "Mikayla, instead of just being frustrated and upset, just say what's really bothering you."  She looked at me and began her antics once again, and I simply said, "babe, its ok to just open your heart and say, Mom, I miss you and want some time with you."  She got this look on her face, and finally expressed her heart!  I told her that so many arguments and irritations could be avoided if she just expressed what she really needed or desired, instead of just beating around, what I call the BS Tree!  Yes, instead of saying "beating around the bush," I call it the BS Tree!  Another TDahl expression! 

 

It was a light bulb moment for me in all actuality!  I mean, how many of us just beat around the BS Tree, instead of just really communicating what it is we need or desire through the scope of love's simplicity?  Think about that for a moment.  Next time you find yourself all frustrated and irritated with someone or something, ask yourself the question - "what is it that I am desiring or needing?"  And then, answer yourself honestly through the lens of love!  I bet you'll save yourself an argument or two or three!  LOL! 

 

As I've embraced this current season of "simplicity" in my life, I've explored how everything in life is either rooted in love or rooted in self.  It's one or the other.  Nothing more, nothing less.  Let me share a story with you that I find super humorous, but so incredibly beautiful at the same time.  My balancing half, Jeff, (he brings so much balance to my journey in life - that is why I call him my balancing half) is such a stable man!  He exhibits the same stability in everything he does.  Sometimes I ask myself, does he get excited about anything?  He's just the same all the time and you know what...I LOVE THAT!!!  I've been blessed with this gift called "creativity."  With that gift, also comes the amazing blessing of a plethora of emotions!  I call them my "creative expressions!"  Jeff brings such a balance to that part of me.  He's one of the most supportive men I've ever seen.  I'm absolutely crazy about him! 

 

 

 

Recently, his dad was in town and we spent the day with him, my mom, and Jeff's daughter. We went to the local flee market, and then later went to the mud drags.  I was dressed in a pair of Capri jeans, tennis shoes, and HIS T-Shirt.  We spent the day out in the sun, and I just looked ratchet by late afternoon.  We had one more stop to make before heading back to his house, and that was a birthday party Jeff had been invited to.  I looked at the invitation and it said the party was at a "lounge."  No problem I thought to myself!  I'm dressed appropriately for a lounge (bar).  Can I just say....NEVER assume anything!  We pulled in, and my thoughts were....uhhhh this does not look like a bar....this looks like a country club!!!  I'm dying inside because this girl needs at least her DIVA shoes for this place.  I'm not rockin' a pair of stiletto's though!  I'm not even half way rockin' a pair of Nike's.  We walk in and not only are we at a Country Club, but its a birthday party celebration for someone he works with.  So EVERYONE from his job (including the owners) were there!!  Here I am, never met any of these people, and I'm looking all ratchet.  Really Jesus??!!!  Now, I had a choice to just exit quietly, or take this moment in from the perspective of "love's simplicity" and revel in the fact that Jeff obviously thought I was beautiful just the way I was - tennis shoes and all - and was proud to have me next to him!!  The selfish side of me could have totally destroyed a beautiful moment.  A moment, we'll laugh about for years to come!  Yet, I chose to see things through the eyes of love - taking my attention off of "myself" and just embracing this moment with Jeff!  We had a great time just hanging out with everyone.  I looked terrible but you know what, in the scope of that moment, who cares!!   Jeff had thought he was in the dog house from what a little birdie told me, but I never even made mention of it...until this blog! 

 

Let me challenge you today and well, everyday, to look at life from the perspective of "love's simplicity."  Don't complicate things! Look for those moments in life that if from a selfish perspective, would cause you to lose the opportunity to make a beautiful life memory.  When you're in that moment, change your perspective and look at it through the lens of love!  Love is never self seeking!  It magnifies others and their desires!  Your heart will thank you for it!! 

 

Living, Loving, Learning,

 

TDahl

 

 

Take Me Back

Oh, what is it with the nostalgia of our teen years?  Ahhhh I've been revisiting many of the moments of my youth lately.  As I write this, I'm listening to one of my favorite country artists - thee one and only Kenny Chesney - sing, "I Go Back." 

I've experienced over the course of the past few weeks the innocence of youth! I fondly remember the few times I was able to experience innocence as a young girl.  One of those times were with a guy, Jason.  We were in like 8th grade I think.  We both went to Homecoming alone, but he asked me to dance.  We ended the night with a long kiss on that dance floor!  The lights came on and we had no knowledge of it because we were just so into our own moment. I'm so surprised we didn't get into trouble by the teachers!  Soon after that night, we went out on our one and only date, because he was getting ready to move away.  During that date I remember sitting next to him at the movies in hopes that he would just hold my hand!  I can't even remember what movie he took me to that night because I was just waiting for him to hold my hand.  Oh, c'mon,  you know what I'm talking about.  You've experienced those times.  You're not paying one bit of attention to the movie,  you're paying attention as to what position his hand is in and how close it is to yours and dying to have him just take that leap of faith that you'll hold his hand back if he grabs yours.  It was just innocent and beautiful!  

 

The time of innocence in my life was very short lived, yet when I captured a few moments in my youth, I held onto those times in my memory bank.  I've been thinking a ton about my best childhood friend, Hans.  Let me tell you about him.  Hans, was my lifesaver as a teenager!  I could just be real with him.  He was my safe place!!  One our favorite things to do was fix cars together.  Well, he would fix the cars and have me believe I broke them.  LOL!  He would always change the oil in my moms car for her.  She was a single parent and money was tight for our family, so  Hans would always help out in the area of our car.  Well, one day we were at the shop together and he was teaching me how to change spark plugs.  Well, I broke one off trying to take it out.  Hans had me convinced for like 15 minutes that the car was irreparable!!  I was freaking out.  Then of course after my series of panic attacks, he busted out laughing!  I chased him all over that shop trying to punch him!  Hans and I had so much fun down at that shop.  That was our place I think.  I enjoyed our crazy times so much!  They were innocent times! 

 

Recently I've been building a friendship with someone that takes me back to that place of innocence in my heart.  He has so many of the character traits that remind me soooooo much of Hans.  He's genuine, and kind, and just real!! As he and I have spent time together, I just notice how easy it is to be with him.  It's relaxing and refreshing to me. 

 

Why God is "taking me back" to those times of my life, I'm not sure.  I can tell you, it is ministering greatly to my heart!  Obviously, He wants to restore something in my heart that I think was broken as a child.  See, God never forgets about any detail of your life.  You can be so far over past hurts in your life, but God never ever forgets about them and He'll touch your heart and make it new.  He's the God of restoration and reconciliation.  He will leave no place untouched in your life if you allow Him full access!  

 

I wanted to share this with you because I think at times we forget that God knows you intimately - whether you know Him or not.  He's in the business of restoring our lives!  He cares about everything - even those times that are long gone in your mind.  This journey we call life and being human can wreak havoc in our hearts.  Yet, when you realize that God's got your heart and will supernaturally heal those broken places if you let Him, and make your life experience better than it ever would have been, is miraculous!!!  I love that God knows all things!!!  I love that He is my safe place to fall!!  I love that He saw beyond the temporal and gave us the eternal in Jesus!  Ahhhh the extravagant love of God!!!!

 

Letting His love wreck my life in an amazing way,

 

TDahl    

Princess of the Swamp



Jeff, (pictured right) getting my carriage ready....

 

Another TDahl Adventure....

 

On August 31st, I went muddin' with my new friend, Jeff.  I had met Jeff back in July at my best friend Beth's, birthday party.  Jeff is Beth's cousin, and so it doesn't surprise me that we hit it off.  We just talked and talked the first night we met.  We even got thrown up on by Beth's grandson!  That was hilarious!  Carter was sitting between the two of us on the couch.  Carter had been acting kind of under the weather you could say.  As Jeff and I were sitting there, I was like, "Carter, are you going to throw up?"  I didn't even get the last word out of my mouth when it went flying!  Jeff and I jumped up (scared poor little Carter) and Jeff got hit pretty good!  LOL!!  I got hit a little bit.  We couldn't help but laugh.  We talked that night about him taking me muddin' and so when the invite came, I was there!  Hmmm I'm seeing a pattern here....if its messy, I guess that's where we might be.

 

 

I arrived at the "swamp" at around 2:30 PM.  My mind immediately took me back to my teenage years.  The loud trucks; being out in the middle of nowhere; and people just having good clean fun!  Well, maybe not so clean, but you get my point!  It made me homesick actually.  The small town I grew up in often had these events.  I had so much fun that day.  I felt like a Princess - even if I was at a swamp!  Rednecks we're standing in line to hug me.  I'm not joking!  I had one guy run up to me and throw his arms around me to give me a hug, and another guy was like, hey, let me in there.  The guy hugging me was like, stand in line!  Jeff quipped, "yea, well she cut me off at two!"  It was sooooo funny!!!  

 

 

After awhile, Jeff got the truck ready, and we loaded up.  I had to stand on some contraption to even get into the truck.  Then his daughter Lexis, and her friend Miranda, jumped in.  I was sitting in the middle, straddling the gear shift.  Wow, did that bring back some memories!!  Jeff, got in and fired the truck up.  I seriously felt 15 again!  No joke!!  Only this time, I really was a Princess!  In my teens, I didn't know I was a Princess, so I got myself into not so good situations with guys.  Call me weird, but I feel like a little puzzle piece was put back together from my childhood.  God restores things we've long forgotten!  Anyway, we weren't out there long before the truck broke.  Jeff was trying to pull someone out who had gotten stuck and we ended up having to be rescued!  That was an adventure!  Jeff had this huge slog (is that word?) of mud fly into the truck while he was trying to pull this other person out.  When another truck came to our rescue, Jeff exited the truck and I had to slide over that mud slog on the seat.  I had to go from his truck to the tailgate of another truck.  Jeff extended his hand to me, and I told him, he better not drop me or let me slip, otherwise I would be taking a swim.  After our rescue, and we made it to dry land again, I seriously was lifted out of the back of the truck by Jeff and his friend Cedric!   I asked where my tiara was!  LOL!!!!   

 

 I had such an amazing day and seriously did feel like a Princess!  We're going to go again soon!  Ahhhhh I love adventure!!!  Especially adventure that takes me back to the little town that still holds my heart! 

Taking Responsibility

This blog came as a result of a conversation with one of my dearest friends and ministry partner, Beth Bennett.  We we're on the phone yesterday morning having our traditional Saturday morning coffee together and just discussing life as we usually do, and as usual, we both were able to mine some awesome life treasures (these are life lessons to me). 

 

First let me tell you a little about my friend Beth.  She is like this breath of fresh air to me!  She's hilariously funny and has a heart like no other.  She is seriously one of my safe places to fall and literally is one of the first people I call when I'm fleshing out life lessons.  She is also one of those people in my life that will tell me straight up what I NEED to hear, not what I want to hear.  I've purposely surrounded myself with friends like this because this girl doesn't need life advice that tickles my ears.  I want people in my life that are going to challenge me to take responsibility in life!  As we shared our hearts, she confirmed some things Daddy God has been showing me.  So, here goes.... 

 

When you hear the word "responsibility" your mind may begin to associate a negative response.  When one takes responsibility for something they often times have the mindset that whatever it is they're taking responsibility for, is their fault!  Let me set the record straight!  Taking responsibility is simply acknowledging your part in a success, failure, victory, defeat, tragedy, and so forth.  It should not carry a negative association.  In fact, it should be very freeing to you! 

 

Photo Credit - Abundant Highway

 

 

Earlier this week Daddy God gave me a strong correction!  Now, when Daddy God corrects me, I do not feel like a failure, or less than!  His correction actually empowers me!  He gives me wisdom, and of course with wisdom, also a full understanding, as well as an opportunity to get it right the next time!  

 

So, with that said, those who follow my blogs or know me on a personal level, know that I entered the dating world again after about 18 years of singleness.  Can I tell you that I'm less than thrilled about it.  Trying to navigate this after so many years of being single is very difficult.  Well, believe me I'm missing the mark!! 

 

Over the course of the past few months, I decided to end my dating adventures because I needed a 21st Century download!  Wow, have I been out of the loop!  I managed to forget a very HUGE foundational principle of dating.  It's called "friendship!"  As I was sharing with Beth yesterday, it hit me like a brick.  I've been healing from what I term as a serious relationship I entered awhile back because we went from 0 to 180 overnight and I missed the mark huge!!!  I was angry at how selfish I felt this man was because I knew God had connected or I should say re-connected us and it just ended horribly.  As I've explored my part of the equation, Daddy got my heart to a place that I could receive His correction.  This is what He said...."Tammy, I didn't call you to a relationship with him, I called you to build a friendship!"  OUCH, OUCH, OUCH!!!  He continued with telling me that my expectations in a relationship are totally different than my expectations in a friendship, as they should be.  The problem was that I jumped the gun, and dove head first into a relationship without first clarifying what my role was in this connection.  Because of that, my plan, overrode God's plan, and well, it got really broken, really fast!  He was trying to be something he wasn't, to try and live up to my expectations relationally, and when it all unraveled, we cut all ties because there was no other option.  I take full responsibility for my part.  And you know what, taking that responsibility brings such a freedom to my heart!!!

 

 

Throughout my dating adventures this year, God has shown me that men are going to be attracted to the Jesus in me!  My friend Mandy told me this when another guy had been attracted to me earlier this year, and she told me again when she met this last guy.  I didn't get it at the time, but I sure get it now!!!  In hindsight, there are many things I would have done differently.  However, I cannot go back and undo what was done.  Going forward, I realize that the mantle I carry is that of restoration and with that comes a huge responsibility!!  God has given me a deep and genuine love for men!  I believe in them!!!!  I also believe that they are starving to have their God natures engaged!  I engaged the God nature of this man I dated, but because I was on a different playing field, relationship vs. friendship, it made him feel like he couldn't measure up.  That was not my intention but that was the result!  I identified with this quickly because years ago the shoe was on the other foot.  I had this godly man in my life and I was trying desperately to measure up to his expectations, and the bottom line was, I simply just wasn't there yet!      

 

One thing I know for a fact is that men have been emasculated!  Because of the emasculation that has taken place throughout generations, men have come to "think" the trough of life is comfortable.  Of course that is the furthest from the truth because nothing is required of them and that is what I believe has caused this "starvation" among our men!  It is a man's nature to be a warrior!  It is his very nature to protect!  Yet because our society is so sex saturated it has unfortunately led women down a road that says their worth and value to a man stems from their vagina and breasts - so the more you show, and the more you know in the sexual arena, will get you the love you want.  Ladies the only love you'll get is the fleshly kind!  You cannot win a man's heart that way.  In fact, if you win him that way, you'll lose him that way, because there is always someone that's going to be hotter than you!  So ladies, listen up!  Short, shorts, and your junk all hanging' out emasculates a man!  Yep, you read that correctly!  When you seek to get his attention by your physical attributes, you are requiring little of him!  If you had any idea how a man was created by God to win your heart, you would put some clothes on, and be the lady, God created you to be!!   

 

It is no accident that worldly men are attracted to godly women!  It's because their very nature was designed to be attracted to godliness.  They truly desire a godly relationship and although they wouldn't describe it in that way, because they are clueless about godliness, I can assure you there is a God connection to that attraction.  God's girls, discern the connection!!!  Don't jump into a relationship that is just ordained for friendship.  Us God's girls hold the keys to reversing this emasculation of men!  Don't underestimate your power as a woman!  Know your place and take responsibility! 

 

Becoming God's Leading Lady,

 

TDahl 



Identity Theft

So my mind has been pondering this blog for the last few weeks....

I am a grace girl!  Holy Spirit taught me the message of grace and then connected me with individuals that taught this message several years ago.  Since then, God has expanded my connections, as well as grew me in several areas, and continues to grow me.  The cool thing about having the connections I do, with other grace teachers, is you get a different perspective through each and everyone's viewpoints.  I love it!  One thing we must never forget is we all know in part and one day, these amazing puzzle pieces will connect and we'll see the truth as it is meant to be seen. 

 

One thing I feel needs to be taught more in the grace circles is how the enemy seeks to rob us, and when he is successful, also robs others, as a result of robbing us!  I've heard things like "the devil" can't talk to you; he has no authority; he was stripped of his power, etc.  And while it may appear to be truth when you hear that, I believe its only a partial truth.  That's how the enemy works though.  He twists truth!

 

"Our identities are robbed when we choose to wear a mask"

 

 

John 10:10 - The Msg   A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.

Let me give you my viewpoints:

#1 - I do believe the devil can talk to us.  I believe he speaks to us personally, as well as through circumstances, people, social media, television, news casts, etc.  I believe this because he spoke to Eve in the Garden of Eden, and he spoke to Jesus in the desert.

#2 - The devil has no authority is only a partial truth.  He has the authority we give him. 

 

#3 - He was stripped of his power - this is true, however he was not stripped of his ability to deceive.

 

Lets look at the temptation of Christ in Matthew 4:1-11 - The Msg

 

1. Next Jesus was taken into the wild by the Spirit for the Test. The Devil was ready to give it. 2. Jesus prepared for the Test by fasting forty days and forty nights. That left him, of course, in a state of extreme hunger, 3. which the Devil took advantage of in the first test: "Since you are God's Son, speak the word that will turn these stones into loaves of bread." 4. Jesus answered by quoting Deuteronomy: "It takes more than bread to stay alive. It takes a steady stream of words from God's mouth." 5. For the second test the Devil took him to the Holy City. He sat him on top of the Temple and said, 6. "Since you are God's Son, jump." The Devil goaded him by quoting Psalm 91: "He has placed you in the care of angels. They will catch you so that you won't so much as stub your toe on a stone." 7. Jesus countered with another citation from Deuteronomy: "Don't you dare test the Lord your God." 8. For the third test, the Devil took him on the peak of a huge mountain. He gestured expansively, pointing out all the earth's kingdoms, how glorious they all were. 9. Then he said, "They're yours - lock, stock, and barrel. Just go down on your knees and worship me, and they're yours." 10. Jesus' refusal was curt: "Beat it, Satan!" He backed his rebuke with a third quotation from Deuteronomy: "Worship the Lord your God, and only him. Serve him with absolute single-heartedness." 11. The Test was over. The Devil left. And in his place, angels! Angels came and took care of Jesus' needs. Teaching and Healing.

 

Do you see the enemy's tactic?  He was using truth, in an attempt to get Jesus to question His identity.  How did he do that you ask?  I mean, if he was using truth, then how was it a temptation? Well, Jesus knew solidly who he was, however I think there is something deeper to this scripture.  Do you notice the character trait of the enemy?  The character trait of the enemy is rooted in arrogance and pride! In fact, that's the reason Lucifer was kicked out of heaven, along with many angels that followed him.  The bottom line is, the enemy is an egomaniac.  So when he was tempting Jesus, he did it through trying to demean Jesus and basically tried to get an egotistical rise out of Him.  Didn't happen!  Christ, in all humbleness, shot the devil down with the Word!

 

What is an egoist?

 

dictionary.com defines it as an arrogantly conceited boastful person. 

 

Lets look at another word - Solipsism.  This is defined as, extreme preoccupation with one's feelings, desires, etc., extreme self-absorption. 

 

Is that not totally the character of the enemy or what!!!

 

I think of when Jesus was going to die on the cross, it was as if He was a sheep being led to the slaughter.  He gave us such an example of humility and humbleness! We know He experienced every form of humiliation known to man!  We as mankind, are so afraid of humiliation, embarrassment, and failure that we've become egotistical maniacs to try to preserve an image that is so false!  Why can't we just be real??  Is our self preservation really that important?? 

 

Listen, if we are going to touch people authentically, we need to live authentically.  Why is it so hard to say, my heart is broken, I'm hurting?  Why must we put masks on and act as if we are OK, when we're not!!!  It angers me that we are so pre-occupied with putting an image out there that says "I'm immune to hurt!"  It actually makes me sick!  I guess, I'm so passionate about this because for years I lived in torment to wearing a mask!  When I chose to live beyond the mask, I chose to be vulnerable and live with an open heart!  Am I ever tempted to reach for a mask?  Absolutely!!!!  Yet, when I pick a mask up,  I find it doesn't fit me!  I choose to remove it - embrace whatever pain I'm experiencing, and choose to share with others who can benefit from my journey! 

 

What kind of mask are you trying to wear?

 

What kind of identity theft are you allowing in your life?

 

Let's look at some masks of identity theft:

 

The "I'm never wrong" mask. 

How about the "I so don't need you" mask.

Then there's the "I can do this on my own" mask. 

What about the "I'm not hurting over this" - [insert circumstance] mask.

What about the mask of "accusation?" 
Finally, there is a huge mask that keeps us trapped and that is the "what will everyone think" mask!

 

Examine your masks and then challenge yourself to take them off, and choose to live in the identity Christ died to give you!  Use your life as a tool - mistakes, wrongs, hurts, and the list goes on! 

 

And a simple reminder - the enemy cannot make you do anything!  He can only attempt to deceive you and he'll do it through character assassination!  He'll try to trip you up by making you feel less than!  He'll attempt to get that ego to rise up in you!  Don't allow it!  Take the high road and if you're embarrassed or humiliated....so be it!  Use it for good by sharing with others!

 

Lets choose life!  Let's choose abundant life!!!  Lets be everything we were meant to be, AUTHENTICALLY!

 

TDahl 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

Your Personal Truth is Your Personal Power

Have you ever heard someone say to never give your power away?  Well, I want to talk about something that is directly linked to your personal power and that my friend's is your personal truth!  You  may be asking, what is "personal truth?"  Here's the TDahl version of the answer....

Let's just quickly review Proverbs 4:23 - Above all else guard your heart, for out of if flow the issues of life.

Guarding your heart is a great ideology, however I feel many are going about it the wrong way.  How do I know that?  I'll give you three guesses and the first two don't count!  Ha!  For years I basically used that scripture to keep the walls surrounding my heart in tact to avoid hurt and pain.  I used the scripture to justify my choice!  And yes, it was MY choice!  Well throughout the years, those walls got really tiring to be honest.  I'm one who wants to live from my heart and fully experience life!  The hard knocks, the victories, the euphoria that comes with adventure!  In other words, I want to live full out.  Well, newsflash, you cannot live full out standing behind the great wall of China, metaphorically speaking. 

So, over the course of the last 3 years, I've been writing my personal truth!  The reason is, that if you are aware of your personal truth, and refuse to compromise your truths, then you will always keep your personal power in tact!  Wow, can I just say it has saved my hide!!! 

Let's look at an example of personal truth.  Now, keep in mind, your personal truth, is just that, YOURS!  A personal truth is simply something you will or will not put up with - period.  There are some things that I won't put up with, that maybe you will - that's called individuality.  It's not a right or wrong thing, its a YOU thing!  I'll give you an example of a few of my personal truths.

"I will honor myself!  I will exit any situation or relationship that brings dishonor to me, or those closest to me."

" I will protect those closest to me by first loving myself and refusing to compromise who I am, and who I was created to be, and therefore, those who maintain a relationship with me - be it family, friends, or my significant other, will find they receive positive, life giving, affirming love from me."

"In a relationship, I will honor my significant other by respecting his place in my life, and I will never put myself in a situation that would cause him to question my relational integrity, faithfulness, and loyalty to him."

See when you have personal truths written for your life in every area, it is easy to identify something, or someone, attempting to overstep the boundaries you've set in place for your life.  At times, it may even be ourselves violating those boundaries.  However, you can get yourself back on track quickly by revisiting your personal truths often and even re-writing them from time to time to gain even deeper clarity.

For many years of my life I had absolutely no boundaries.  After committing my life to Christ in 1994, this was the number one area I had to work on.  It's hard work! 

Personal truths when identified, lived by, and never compromised will save you from tons of pain!  Since I'm an open book, I'll give you an example from my own life.  Now, when you read my little story, I want to say that in no way am I bashing anyone!  It's just a prime example of everyone living by different personal truths.  Some people base their truths on what the world finds acceptable, others, like myself, base my personal truths on what God says will bring me life.  If I want all that God has for me, then I need to do things His way!  Otherwise, I'm going to miss the mark and live in regret.

 

So here's my story...I'm a girl who really loves to have fun!  I love people and social functions, I love to dance, and I love music, crazy whitewater rafting trips, etc.  You get the point!  I just love good clean fun!  Key word - CLEAN!  Sometime ago, I went to a few parties with a date, someone whom I thought was my friend, and whom I thought cared about me!  Can I just say I felt I entered the twilight zone.  Well, I think I actually did.  I was so square peg, round hole!  At the first party, I was introduced to someone that was very inappropriate with my date.  In fact, her statement (cannot even repeat it) and body language/touching, were very "sexual" in nature towards him. I just stood there like, did that just really happen?!  I was then left standing there because my date walked over to chit chat with  this woman's husband, and then this woman just turned away from me and left me standing there. Awkward!  When we left, I was still reeling from the whole inappropriate comment/touching episode.  Years ago, that would have been nothing to me.  Now, however, that's not the story I live by.  This woman has no knowledge of what honor is!  She dishonored me, my date, her own husband, and unfortunately herself within a matter of 1 minute!  Yea, not ok! And clearly, my date/friend did not understand honor either, or he would have taken me out of there immediately or never brought me into that situation in the first place, especially knowing how I live my life!  

The next stop we made, I met an amazing couple!!!  They were celebrating 33 years of marriage and it was obvious why!!!!  They honored each other, and clearly had Christ the center of their marriage!  It was so refreshing to me as I was still reeling from the previous stop!  I wanted to just stay there to be honest!  LOL!!! 

The final stop, was the final straw for me.  What I witnessed at this party ripped my heart out.  There were kids at this party and some of the parents have clearly had no filters in place with their children.  A twelve year old, who just met me, said something very "sexually" inappropriate to me about someone else. My date, said nothing!  He didn't say "son, you don't talk to a lady like that!"  NOTHING!  Then there was this horrible, horrible show on television and there was this little 5 year old girl sitting on her mom's lap, trying to figure out what she was seeing on TV.  I couldn't handle it!!!!  I left the room.  It literally made me sick to my stomach.  I literally felt I went back in time because that was the norm for me, twenty years ago.  When I was raising my daughter, I protected her ear gates and her eye gates because I didn't want her to develop a belief system that was rooted and grounded in what the world deems acceptable, and I certainly wanted her beliefs about sexuality to be pure!  I wrote God on her heart when I had the chance and protected her because that's what parents do!  When they get to the age of accountability, it is their choice as to what they allow to influence their hearts, but at least I have a promise from God that if I raised her in His ways, she'll go back to those ways one day! I know I did!    

So, in revisiting my personal truths that I've written on my heart, there were serious violations!  I knew that was the end for me and my date knew it too, because he knows me and knows this girl doesn't play with her heart!  Of course some horrible pot shots were taken at me.  I was made fun of, and pieces of my past were joked about, and to be completely honest it hurt me deeply. It hurt because a man's heart is supposed to protect!  Instead, he joined in the game.  However its all good because the bottom line is that I love me, and I love the life God has given me, and I refuse to compromise!  Hurting people hurt people and I understand that, so no hard feelings on my end!  But you see, how by revisiting my personal truths, refusing to violate the boundaries I set in place for myself, did indeed save me from a ton of pain that "would" have been in my future had I continued on that path. 

My personal truth is my personal power!  I wrote my personal truths based on what God desires for my life.  This requires an investment of time in the Word!  Get to know God's heart for you, His desires for you, and then makes those desires your desires!  His Word works hand in hand with the power of choice He has given you!  Now, I could've have chosen to be completely be fake in that situation, compromise my personal truth, and you know what, I would have sold out!  For what?  A warm body (because that sure as heck isn't any kind of relationship I want)?  Really???  Not in a million years! 

 

In writing your personal truths, get away alone and think of the life you want to live, the kind of relationships you want to have in your life, and of course the kind of love you desire!  Make a list!  Then, become that list!  Make it your personal truth as it will become your personal power, which will ultimately lead you to what you desire and keep you from distractions and the deception of the enemy!  Don't give your personal power away for anything!  If you find yourself justifying things, revisit that list!  Refuse to compromise! 

 

Want some help in discovering your personal truths for you?  I'd be happy to help!  Email me at info@tammydahl.com. 

 

In His Grip, Grace, and Strength,

 

TDahl