Redeemed, Restored, and Loved Fiercely

I, like every “girl” on the planet had often fantasized as a young woman, about the perfect “Fairy Tale” romance.  Little girls are taught that they are the princesses waiting for their knight in shining armor to sweep them off of their feet, romance them, and ultimately rescue them with their love, protection, and loyalty.  Every girl wants the fairy tale, but rarely do we really live what we’ve imagined.

 



 

I’ve felt for many years that I had lost the “Fairy Tale” due to my own choices and mistakes.   When I had my daughter Mikayla, I put her first!  I gave up dating to focus on raising her.   I had settled in my mind that if I didn’t meet someone when she was super little, then I would just wait it out until she was grown.  I did not want my heart to be distracted whatsoever.  I could not afford heartbreak as I felt I needed my daughter to have the best of me and never the rest of me!  I did a lot of heart work over those years of raising her.  I had realized that in my youth and early twenties, I had accepted counterfeit romances.   In my twenties I associated romance with being wined and dined.  After all, my career of choice in those early years was a life in the adult entertainment business.  Everything was externally focused.

 

My daughter Mikayla, graduated high school in May of 2013 and about 2 months prior to her graduation, I began dating again.  Wow, had I lived under a rock for nearly twenty years.  I was very cautious, and yet very naïve all at the same time.   During this dating process, I realized something about myself that was nothing less than a miracle.  I realized that I had a different heart.  This heart of mine wasn’t hard like it had been all those years back.  It was trusting and open!  Something I’ve never known.  I knew God had done extensive healing in me as I partnered with Him through all those years of singleness.  God had to literally recreate a new heart within me.  The Word of God promises He will do that, but to actually realize you’re living that promise, is an incredible revelation.  I used to be as cold as ice when it came to the opposite sex.  I had been hurt by men my entire life.  I endured sexual abuse as a young child and teenager, and then later down the road I had worked in an industry where I chose to be abused!   Needless to say, God had His work cut out for him when it came to me when I began my healing journey all those years ago.

When I met Jeff, I wasn’t looking!  They say that’s when love hits you right smack upside the head.  In fact, I had just gotten out of a 2 month dating relationship when I had met him, and jumping into another dating relationship was not on my agenda.   My best friend, Beth was in town and it was her birthday.  I had been invited over to her son and daughter-in-law’s house for her birthday party.  As I was sitting there, I heard this loud truck roll up.  I looked over at Beth and said, “Who’s that?”  She replied, “Oh, that’s just Jeff.”  As he walked up on the porch, I noticed that my heart was unexplainably drawn to him.  After hanging out that night, and later finding out that there was some serious speculation going on as to whether something would happen between the two of us, Jeff FINALLY contacted me about a month and a half later.  Our first official date was on his birthday at the end of August.  I had the time of my life!  I felt like God had literally put my life of rewind that day.  I felt the innocence of my youth again.  My youth had been stolen from me, so to feel that innocence again, especially in my heart, was incredibly profound.   It was as if I had a heart that had never been hurt before.  I choose to believe, I do!  Until now, I have never known what it felt like to be protected in love.  And that my friends, is the ultimate “fairy tale!”  I have found the one in whom my heart calls home.

  

If you’re single and reading this, be encouraged!  I challenge you to prepare yourself for the relationship you desire to have.  Use this time to grow!  Surround yourself with those whom have amazing marriages, and become a student of those relationships!  I spent many years in singleness and I wouldn’t trade those years for anything.  I had time to invest in myself, becoming the woman I needed to become to attract the relationship I desired.  Because of that investment in myself I knew exactly what I needed a man to bring to the proverbial table of a relationship, and I was prepared to receive the desires of my heart.

Living the “REAL” life fairy tale – redeemed, restored, and loved fiercely,

TDahl

The Ultimate Adventure



I think that everyone comes to a place in their lives when they are faced with the reality that not only are they going to die, but they are going to age, and the landscape of their life will change several times.  Our lives begin as an empty canvas, and in the beginning our parents are the artists who are shaping, fashioning, teaching, and molding our lives.  As we grow, and the shift takes place where we, ourselves, carry on as the artist, we are given the opportunity to choose as we desire.   Hopefully, we choose partnership with our Creator, as we begin creating our masterpiece.  Often times, that is not the case, however I still believe it is a valued part of the journey in the creating process.  As we begin to create the life we think we want, or think we desire, we find as we mature and grow, that the vision we have, is both subject to change and will change.  Many times we must do a revamp!  We finally figure out that what we choose, often changes with the varying season of our lives.  Even still, each intricate detail is an important part of our life masterpiece!     

 

One of my traditions is reflecting on my life every New Years Eve.  This past New Year's Eve I sat by a warm, crackling fire out in the country and just thought of this past year's journey.  I glanced over at the amazing man in my life, and thought to myself, this was my biggest life change over 2013.  I began thinking of how many changes I've been through over the past 2 years and thought to myself, "God has been teaching me so much about life in such a short time."  It's almost mind blowing.  I have so much more to learn, but I can say that I'm embracing the teaching process - even though at times its incredibly painful.  It's painful because it requires me to be open and vulnerable - something that is incredibly scary at times. 

As this exterior shell (our bodies) ages and changes, and we go through a series of metamorphic transformations, both inside and out, it is no question that the real substance of our being is our heart.  The cry of my heart, and really everyone's heart, is to simply be loved.  Loved for who we are deep down inside, apart from what we can offer someone.  I believe as we choose to make love our primary pursuit, over what we would like to "accomplish" in our lifetime, or the "legacy" we would like to leave, that "LOVE" becomes more evident to those around us.  When love becomes our purpose, it will draw truth, purity, and more love!  I believe as we age, and mature, the masks of our lives begin to disintegrate and we become our authentic selves.  Authenticity in and of itself involves deep transformation of ones self.  It involves us becoming so aware of not only who we are, but who we desire to be.   

 



 

Over the past few years I've come to realize that my journey of choosing to love, is also a quest that seriously ignites my heart!  I believe that love is the ultimate adventure.  It is the ultimate adventure because it requires us to live from our hearts.  I've also realized to a greater degree, that love has the power to create amazing things.  For example, love can unlock someone's dream and cause them to finally believe in themselves.  I know that happened for me in the area of music.  Love can also set someone free from living a life of condemnation.  Love overlooks the bad, seeks the good, and as a result empowers change!  If you want to see changes in your life or the lives of others?  Then in the words and teaching of Pastor Danny Silk, choose to "Keep Your Love On!"

People will let us down!  They will also hurt and betray us.  They will be self seeking and have their own agendas and love will be the furthest thing from their choices.  They will try to convince you it is love, but love is not self seeking, it does not think more highly of itself.  It is not arrogant and it is not rude.  It decreases so others can increase.  When you choose love, it will appear "most" of the time it as if you are last, and even at times forgotten.  That is painful!  Yet, in that pain you'll find that you are empowered because we still have the ability to choose love!  It's the most powerful force in the Universe, and it will literally bring about healing and change.  It is our choice!  It is the most powerful choice!  It is the most difficult choice!  However, it is the wisest choice!  We mirror our Father God when we choose love! 

Choosing Love & Empowering Others!

TDahl