I read such an amazing article a few weeks ago "10 Things I Would Say to My Mother....if she were still alive." As I read those personal things that the author shared, tears began to well up in my eyes and started slowly streaming down my face along with the emotion of "I have got to do this....while my mom is alive!" So this is what I wrote to her. I hope it may inspire those of you who are still blessed to have your mother living, to share too!
So here goes...
(not in any particular order)
1. Mom, remember that time we just took off in someone else's car you borrowed because you were afraid ours wouldn't make the road trip? We didn't know where we were headed but we ended up in Wisconsin Dells. You paid for us to go to the water park and I said I didn't have a bathing suit....you said "oh, you only live once....slide down this water slide in your jeans and t-shirt!" I froze my butt off all the way home, but that memory is the flippin' best ever! Thank you for the adventure!!!
2. I loved getting up with you super early when you owned the restaurant. I know we laugh about this all the time, but I loved super huge pancakes. You would always let me cook it on the grill, but this one time I poured so much batter on the grill that it was HUGE! If my pancakes got too dark I wouldn't eat them so I ran back to the kitchen and said "Mom, Mom....come flip my pancake!" You were running to the grill and you flipped that huge thing like a pro! You were my hero then and you are my hero now!!!
3. The trip to Minneapolis to see my Grandma Dahl and we found out she had passed away....you did everything you could to be sure I at least reconnected with my Dad. We went to "Denny's" and you and my dad had a great time together and I got to spend time with him which made me feel so amazing. I love that you never said anything bad about my dad and always protected that "Prince" image I had in my heart for him...even though he wasn't part of my life. I loved our road trips together!!
4. Our Dukes of Hazzard clunker of a car! It was so embarrassing to climb out of that dumb car window in the dead of winter because the doors wouldn't work. The exhaust fumes almost made us pass out it was so bad....but shoot, looking back we had some pretty hilarious laughs over that car!! Vroom Vroom piece of junk! You always made everything positive, even though I now understand because of life in general, how hard that must have been for you. Thank you for always being so incredibly optimistic. I love that about you.....
5. Your endless advice!!! Oh how I love to talk with you about anything and get your input. You've always loved me unconditionally. You tell it to me straight up! Sometimes your candidness frustrates me, especially when you see something I refuse to look at. Yet, this is the essence of who you are! You don't sugar coat things in life and I love that about you. You have a protective eye and watch out for me.
6. Your investment in cultivating my gift! My voice! From the time I was a little kid through today, you constantly invest in this voice of mine! I remember at about the age of 7, we went on our yearly family vacation to Camp Chetek. They asked me to sing for the service one evening. I went up to that big pulpit that swallowed me whole, and the pastor moved his chair up to the podium so I could stand on that! I remember climbing that chair and looking out to a crowd of about about 800 to 1000 people. I delivered my song and you were just smiling ear to ear!! Now in my adult years, leading worship on certain occasions, I still look for you in that front row...smiling ear to ear!!! Speaking of music....I'll never ever forget the time you sang in church (you sang a lot) the most beautiful rendition of the song "Ten Thousand Angels." Wow!!! Blew me away as a little girl watching my Mommy sing!! I wish I had that recorded!!!
7. I loved how you encouraged my love for animals. I would rescue anything I could...still do! You taught me responsibility by giving me responsibility of a living thing that depended on my care if it was going to survive. It wasn't an option. I love you so much for that! That teaching has given me a tenacity in life to take care of what needs to be taken care of along with a loyalty and committment that few possess today! Thank you!!!
8. People that know you, love you!!! You have always been the rock in our family and in my friendships I've shared throughout my life. My friends would always come to you for life advice because you would share your mistakes and be so open and real with them. My close friends still come to you! For many of my friends that have lost their mom's, you've become a 2nd mom! You are an amazing woman that has soooo much to offer!
9. You, my precious mother, love much!! You believe in people!! You can look at the worst mess someone has made of their lives and see potential where others just walk away!! You've taught me to stick with the underdog by your example! You've shown me that when you believe in someone, GREAT MIRACLES happen! You've taught me to stand with the ones who have been rejected and cast off!! I've been this way since I was a little girl...whether it was some kid picking on another kid that couldn't stand up for themselves or the church I grew up in was calling people out on their "sin" from the pulpit! I wouldn't stand for it then and I won't stand for it now! Thank you for showing me by action what love can do!!! I've seen so many people throughout the years, that you've invested your life in, get turned around and become a success. Your love always pointed them to Jesus!!!
10. There are a bazillion more things I can think of that I could tell you and I know I have throughout the years, but I'll close with this....Thank you for always believing in me no matter what! When I haven't believed in myself, you have believed! You've put your money where your mouth is soooo many times. Spending your last dollar for me to audition for "Kids for Wisconsin" and even though I didn't make it (they sure wanted me to and even gave me a second chance...I just couldn't get that dance down..ugh), to literally investing thousands of dollars in this last CD project! You are with me all the way!!! I cannot tell you how amazing it was to have you there, in the studio in Nashville, supporting me and encouraging me and praying for me!!! Then to invest in my friend Mandy as well.....YOU BELIEVED IN US!!! YOU GAVE US WINGS TO FLY!!! Throughout my entire life you've invested in the lives of others, helping them to cultivate their gift of music! I follow in your footsteps!! Mom, you truly are the most amazing woman!!! I'm honored to call you Mother!!! I love you.......I love sharing life with you....and I hope we have many more years to travel this road called life...TOGETHER!!!
With all my love,
Tammy
