Don't you just love it when you have to pay for other people's character flaws? What I mean is when people attack your character based on their past experiences with others. One thing I have learned throughout my 40 year life, is that people are going to think what they are going to think. At times they will die believing the worst about someone rather than admit the possibility that they have poor judgement. When you encounter one of these individuals, it doesn't take long to figure out the symptom of why they struggle with any relationship. They mis-trust deeply! It's like they are always on guard waiting for the person they are mis-trusting to validate the faulty beliefs they have developed in their heart based on their own life experiences. It is always very sad to me because for years I lived that way. I'm incredibly thankful that God brought someone to my life to work that horrible belief system out of my heart.
The person that helped me through that faulty belief system I had, stuck by me when I would lash out in mis-trust. He was able to separate my behavior from my worth as an individual. We went through some tough stuff in our friendship. One day I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of this belief system that kept robbing me of peace and had robbed me of great friendships. My mis-trust of people consumed me. I would always have to validate and re-validate my position. I would need to have other's agree with me, and they would (that area was never lacking) and then I could continue to reinforce my faulty belief . Meanwhile, the people I mis-trusted were sleeping just fine if you know what I mean. As I really dealt with my pain and mis-trust issues years ago, I realized something very profound and actually found it in the Bible. You judge people based on the same things that operate in your own life. It's true...100% of the time! It may not be immediately revealed, but it will come to light eventually. The reason I couldn't trust, was because I myself, was not trustworthy! OUCH! Now, don't get me wrong, you don't just trust anyone. You have to use wisdom. However, when you've built somewhat of a relationship with someone, when something goes array, you shouldn't automatically assume the worst. In fact, if you've developed a healthy belief system, you should automatically assume the best, until that person proves themselves otherwise. I can't tell you how many relationships, good relationships with good people that I've let go because I refused to trust and refused to look at myself in the situation.
I follow a general rule in my heart - 99.999% of the time, people are not out to "hurt" you! That would just be evil! When they are out to hurt you, it's based on their own hurt! Hurting people hurt people. It's easy to empathize when you realize that its out of one's own hurt that they lash out. Maybe you are one of those individuals who deals with this faulty belief system in your heart! The good news is....there is healing in Jesus Christ! If this is you, it's time to recognize this, because I can promise you its holding you back from having great relationships!! Since dealing with my mis-trust issues, I've been blessed with amazing friendships. Friendships with individuals that allow me to be me! We can hash things out when we disagree and still have a knowing in our hearts of our love for each other. Friendships that you can share you deepest fears and insecurities and know that they are safely kept even in the midst of an all out fight! I remember a major fight I had with one of my closest friends. It resulted in her storming out of my house, both of us balling our eyes out while apart, followed by a knock at my door about 30 minutes later, with a mutual greeting... a warm, tear filled embrace and a mutual I'm sorry! We laugh at that fight today, but what saved our friendship is that both of us had a healthy belief system and a love for each other, coupled with a deep knowing that when the rubber meets the road, we had each others backs and always will!
Maybe you are asking,....does this describe me? Well, one way to answer this question is to look at past friendships and see how they ended and why. Examine if this behavior keeps repeating itself in someway, shape, or form with the result of an ended friendship, etc. Do you desire deep, meaningful relationships but somehow never have that desire fulfilled? These are just a few ways to discover and unlock what's keeping you from the great relationships that God desires you have! Begin to ask God to show you the why's of this faulty belief systems and ask Him to reveal the steps you need to take to create a new belief system! I never could have imagined the amazing relationships God desired for me, until I decided to take the steps with God to overcome my own hurt and have the willingness to embrace something new. Mis-trust always causes poor judgment! Decide now to disrupt what's causing your mis-trust.
In His Grip, Grace, and Strength,
TDahl
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
...And It Will Be Established For You
Can I just say I love the Word of God! As I get older, I love it more and more. I think as we age, we begin to focus on the the things that are truly important. Things that are eternally focused and not temporal. I'll never forget a statement my pastor made several years back in regards to material possessions. He said "just drive by a junk yard and think to yourself, that used to be someone's dream (referencing the scrap pieces of metal and smashed up vehicles).
I've been evaluating several areas of my personal life (which I do often), but something is different this time. I'm not exactly sure what the change has been this time, but there has been a change. I'm looking at how I'm spending my time. I'm examining how I'm spending my money, even moreso than I ever have (I do this often as well-its a must for me). I'm really challenging my ideas, thoughts and actions and asking myself...are these eternal minded or temporal minded? Let me give you an example....
I enjoy "Starbucks!" Yes, who on earth doesn't? Hello! I do not go there often, unless someone has given me a gift card because anytime you pay almost 400%, more, yes, I said 400% more for something than it actually costs the retailer, you know your literally throwing your money away (my sister used to run a "Starbucks" so I know a little about costs here). However, it doesn't keep me from doing it once in a while. This last time I went in and paid my $4.65 for my Venti Skinny Vanilla Latte add foam and whip (my mouth is watering) it somehow didn't taste so good. See, for $4.65 I could have invested that in someone's life in Haiti (I went there on a missions trip). I could have went and bought a jar of spaghetti sauce and a package of pasta and provided a meal to a family who doesn't know where their next meal is coming from. I could have sown it into my churches offering to help pay for postage when mailing a CD to someone who has never heard the gospel. I could have sown it into the ministry network I'm a part of to help support pastor's in Africa that are going to be part of a leadership conference soon. It's amazing what $4.65 can really do these days! These are "eternally" minded thoughts! It almost made me sick that night when I purchased that "Starbucks" and sipped on it, with these eternally minded thoughts rolling around in my mind. I didn't even enjoy my purchase! In fact, my mouth has stopped watering just thinking about that night.
I've really been thinking and pondering lately on my life's purpose. The reason why I'm here, right now, for just this time. God chose me to be here on this earth at this time in history! Why? You cannot get a temporal answer on that question - it can only be answered from an eternal perspective. God's KINGDOM perspective! This is what I know...God gave each of us gifts and talents. I believe with all my heart that He also chose that our gifts and talents would also be our earthly provision. It would be how you made a living to support your family, and expand the Kingdom. We are part of a Kingdom!! A Kingdom so big that it's eternal! It's forever and ever!!! Let that sink in for a moment. Foolishly, we've built our own kingdoms that have very little to do with eternity.
Now, I am not saying don't ever have a "Starbucks" or don't ever go out to eat, etc. I'm not saying don't live in a nice house, and have nice things. It is more than ok to prosper! God desires prosperity for His children. What I am saying is lets closely evaluate our investments into Kingdom things and compare them to our investments in earthly things. We need to be Kingdom minded and then earthly minded! Many of us have put Kingdom mindedness in last position, when it should be in first position! MYSELF INCLUDED in that statement!
As I was reading the Word this morning I went to one of my favorite scriptures...Job 22:28. However, as I was reading, the Lord prompted me to read the verses above that scripture....let's take a look together.
21. Agree with God, and be at peace; thereby good will come to you. [Revised Standard Version]
22. Accept the teaching He gives; keep His words in your heart.
23. If you return to the Almighty, you will prosper. If you put wrongdoing out of your tent (home) [God's Word Translation]
24. Throw away your gold; dump your finest gold in the dry stream bed.
25. Let Almighty God be your gold, and let him be silver, piled high for you.
26. Then you will always trust in God and find that He is the source of your joy.
27. When you pray, He will answer you, and you will keep the vows you made. [Good News Translation]
28. You will also decree a thing, and it will be established for you; And light will shine on your ways. [New American Standard Version]
I'm reminded of my Aunt Rosemary who pretty much gave up all her earthly possessions and served as a missionary on an Indian reservation in Nageezi, New Mexico. She was there for 5 years. She had to draw her own water for baths. Her bathroom was an outhouse and she lived in a little trailer. She believed God for everything she needed. God gave her the desire to serve and her focus was Kingdom minded (it would have to be to live in those conditions and LOVE what you do) and she lived on the financial support of those who had "Kingdom" thinking! I've asked myself...what am I willing to give up? I am choosing to exchange my "earthly" thinking for "Kingdom" thinking! I don't think we're giving up anything to be honest, because we are gaining so much more! As I read the above scriptures, I have embraced these verses of scripture as a whole and say "God I want to trust YOU, and not me anymore!"
My hearts desire is to be a successful music artist in both the secular and Christian markets-AND I WILL BE!!! However, I want to have Kingdom minded thinking in my decisions. My hearts desire is to touch the world with my gifts and talents that God has given to me and to leave a legacy that lives beyond myself, pointing people to Jesus Christ! I want to invest more in my church financially! In fact, I'm saying it right now, that my heart's desire is to build the housing for single parents that is part of the vision and mission of my church. In order for me to do that, I need to be Kingdom minded on the receiving end as well as the giving end! That means it begins now, in the small things. I have to open my heart to receive incredible prosperity (that is a mindset) and to also develop the mindset to sow incredible prosperity back! It starts with me declaring and then watching it be established "FOR" me! What is your declaration?
In His Grip, Grace and Strength,
TDahl
I've been evaluating several areas of my personal life (which I do often), but something is different this time. I'm not exactly sure what the change has been this time, but there has been a change. I'm looking at how I'm spending my time. I'm examining how I'm spending my money, even moreso than I ever have (I do this often as well-its a must for me). I'm really challenging my ideas, thoughts and actions and asking myself...are these eternal minded or temporal minded? Let me give you an example....
I enjoy "Starbucks!" Yes, who on earth doesn't? Hello! I do not go there often, unless someone has given me a gift card because anytime you pay almost 400%, more, yes, I said 400% more for something than it actually costs the retailer, you know your literally throwing your money away (my sister used to run a "Starbucks" so I know a little about costs here). However, it doesn't keep me from doing it once in a while. This last time I went in and paid my $4.65 for my Venti Skinny Vanilla Latte add foam and whip (my mouth is watering) it somehow didn't taste so good. See, for $4.65 I could have invested that in someone's life in Haiti (I went there on a missions trip). I could have went and bought a jar of spaghetti sauce and a package of pasta and provided a meal to a family who doesn't know where their next meal is coming from. I could have sown it into my churches offering to help pay for postage when mailing a CD to someone who has never heard the gospel. I could have sown it into the ministry network I'm a part of to help support pastor's in Africa that are going to be part of a leadership conference soon. It's amazing what $4.65 can really do these days! These are "eternally" minded thoughts! It almost made me sick that night when I purchased that "Starbucks" and sipped on it, with these eternally minded thoughts rolling around in my mind. I didn't even enjoy my purchase! In fact, my mouth has stopped watering just thinking about that night.
I've really been thinking and pondering lately on my life's purpose. The reason why I'm here, right now, for just this time. God chose me to be here on this earth at this time in history! Why? You cannot get a temporal answer on that question - it can only be answered from an eternal perspective. God's KINGDOM perspective! This is what I know...God gave each of us gifts and talents. I believe with all my heart that He also chose that our gifts and talents would also be our earthly provision. It would be how you made a living to support your family, and expand the Kingdom. We are part of a Kingdom!! A Kingdom so big that it's eternal! It's forever and ever!!! Let that sink in for a moment. Foolishly, we've built our own kingdoms that have very little to do with eternity.
Now, I am not saying don't ever have a "Starbucks" or don't ever go out to eat, etc. I'm not saying don't live in a nice house, and have nice things. It is more than ok to prosper! God desires prosperity for His children. What I am saying is lets closely evaluate our investments into Kingdom things and compare them to our investments in earthly things. We need to be Kingdom minded and then earthly minded! Many of us have put Kingdom mindedness in last position, when it should be in first position! MYSELF INCLUDED in that statement!
As I was reading the Word this morning I went to one of my favorite scriptures...Job 22:28. However, as I was reading, the Lord prompted me to read the verses above that scripture....let's take a look together.
Job 22:21-28 [I've noted several translations]
22. Accept the teaching He gives; keep His words in your heart.
23. If you return to the Almighty, you will prosper. If you put wrongdoing out of your tent (home) [God's Word Translation]
24. Throw away your gold; dump your finest gold in the dry stream bed.
25. Let Almighty God be your gold, and let him be silver, piled high for you.
26. Then you will always trust in God and find that He is the source of your joy.
27. When you pray, He will answer you, and you will keep the vows you made. [Good News Translation]
28. You will also decree a thing, and it will be established for you; And light will shine on your ways. [New American Standard Version]
I'm reminded of my Aunt Rosemary who pretty much gave up all her earthly possessions and served as a missionary on an Indian reservation in Nageezi, New Mexico. She was there for 5 years. She had to draw her own water for baths. Her bathroom was an outhouse and she lived in a little trailer. She believed God for everything she needed. God gave her the desire to serve and her focus was Kingdom minded (it would have to be to live in those conditions and LOVE what you do) and she lived on the financial support of those who had "Kingdom" thinking! I've asked myself...what am I willing to give up? I am choosing to exchange my "earthly" thinking for "Kingdom" thinking! I don't think we're giving up anything to be honest, because we are gaining so much more! As I read the above scriptures, I have embraced these verses of scripture as a whole and say "God I want to trust YOU, and not me anymore!"
My hearts desire is to be a successful music artist in both the secular and Christian markets-AND I WILL BE!!! However, I want to have Kingdom minded thinking in my decisions. My hearts desire is to touch the world with my gifts and talents that God has given to me and to leave a legacy that lives beyond myself, pointing people to Jesus Christ! I want to invest more in my church financially! In fact, I'm saying it right now, that my heart's desire is to build the housing for single parents that is part of the vision and mission of my church. In order for me to do that, I need to be Kingdom minded on the receiving end as well as the giving end! That means it begins now, in the small things. I have to open my heart to receive incredible prosperity (that is a mindset) and to also develop the mindset to sow incredible prosperity back! It starts with me declaring and then watching it be established "FOR" me! What is your declaration?
In His Grip, Grace and Strength,
TDahl
Monday, August 1, 2011
When We Struggle...
I want to talk about something that all of us deal with from time to time....STRUGGLE
Dictionary.com defines struggle like this: to contend with an adversary or opposing force.
I feel that even when we are not met with huge "struggle" we continually have an opposing force in our lives...its called being human. We make decisions throughout our daily lives to either respond or react to circumstances that oppose our ideals and desires. For example, there are moments when I just want to react to someone's stupidity instead of respond maturely. There are things that get under my skin, such as people being late all the time, or making sarcastic comments directed toward me (just freakin' tell me to my face rather than dance around an issue), or being one way to my face and 2 seconds later talking about me behind my back, because someone else has another opinion. Can I just say get get a flippin' life already! We can choose the high road, or lower ourselves to that person's level. And yes, I said lower, because we need to have a standard operating in our own lives that we are unwilling to compromise on, for anyone! So there are struggles we face on a daily basis that don't put us into crisis mode, but can get the best of us at times. Hopefully we are mature enough to apologize when we react instead of respond to these types of things. I want to talk about what we do when we face big struggles. Life changing struggles and how we should respond to those struggles.
Can I just say that I am one who knows struggle! I've been a single parent for 16+ years (that's huge). I've had financial struggles for most of that time. I've had people judge me because of my past (Christians no less). I've had people judge my parenting style. I've lost everything and had to start over. I've had friendships dissolve in front of my eyes because I've had to take the high road on some issues. I've lost jobs. I've been sexually assaulted. The list goes on and on. So, I know struggle.
Over the past few months, I've had to purposely "fix" my attention on some areas that, if not dealt with, could have literally taken me so far off course in life. The struggles have seemed to nail me from every direction - family, personal, parenting, friendships, relationships, music, and the list goes on. My way of dealing with life struggles is to withdraw for a period of time from the sources of the pain, and surround myself with what I call, "My Core." This consists of individuals who have known me for many years, are solid in Christ, and LIVE the WORD obediently! Included in "my core" are also individuals that have known pain themselves and have overcome. I think its super important to have relationships with people that really identify with the things in which we struggle. Its very difficult for me, not impossible, but difficult for me to open my heart to someone that cannot identify with my struggle. Unless of course, its one of my spiritual father's. There is something about having that "Spiritual Dad" that can just make things clear! (I encourage you to find one or several.)
I want to give you some keys in which to deal with personal struggle, so you are able to rise above the circumstance, identify your weakness and begin the process of exchanging it for God's strength!
1. Deal with bitterness and FAST!
Whether its others that have judged you, or you feel mis-understood, or you even feel that God isn't rescuing you (we feel this people...let's be real) and making things better, don't get bitter! I had a conversation with a woman recently that is having huge issues in her church and she is dealing with bitterness. Listen, bitterness causes resentment and resentment causes us to have a critical spirit! When we become critical we cannot see things clearly!!! A critical spirit robs us, not anyone else, of life!
2. Choose the TRUTH!
Look, even if you are frustrated with God because you feel He's not helping you in the time you are requesting it, you need to persuade your heart! God is ON YOUR SIDE! You must be completely persuaded on that issue! God does not react to our temper tantrums. God responds to our situations and struggles. His plan will not fail! I am reminded of some song lyrics...."sometimes He calms the storm with a whisper peace be still, He can settle any sea, but it doesn't He will. Sometimes He holds us close and lets the winds and waves go wild. Sometime He calms the storms and other times He calms His child." I love this song, and while I don't agree with all of the lyrics because I don't believe God brings pain to our lives, I do believe He brings divine discontent so we see doors of opportunity He's preparing for us. See, sometimes we get so comfortable and miss where He wants to bring us. We need to know our identity in Christ and we also need to know the power of Christ within us. He will cause us to overcome!! No if's, and's, or but's about it!!!
3. Understand that rejection is not personal.
Rejection is a painful place and is usually very personal to us. Refuse to let it be! We as human beings can miss it so much! Every single one of us! We are far from perfect, but we have a Savior, who in His perfection, can identify with rejection! Jesus was rejected!
4. We have a race to run - get rid of the baggage!
As for us, we have this large crowd of witnesses around us. So then, let us rid ourselves of everything that gets in the way, and of the sin which holds on to us so tightly, and let us run with determination the race that lies before us. Hebrews 12:1 [Good News Translation]
5. Look at the opportunity, not the problem!
It's easy to be overwhelmed with the problem, but I encourage you to look at the opportunity. Whatever you are dealing with, it's an opportunity to trust God! Focus on the opportunity! Focus on the fact that God will rescue you - it's His Word! Don't take your problem into your own hands. Your strength is futile in comparison to God's. Choose to exchange your problem for God's opportunity! Your weakness for His strength. You are just one choice away from resolving your struggle! Leave it in the Master's hands and continue to run your race! There is a finish line and it's gonna be a celebration when you cross that line!
In His Grip, Grace and Strength,
TDahl
Dictionary.com defines struggle like this: to contend with an adversary or opposing force.
I feel that even when we are not met with huge "struggle" we continually have an opposing force in our lives...its called being human. We make decisions throughout our daily lives to either respond or react to circumstances that oppose our ideals and desires. For example, there are moments when I just want to react to someone's stupidity instead of respond maturely. There are things that get under my skin, such as people being late all the time, or making sarcastic comments directed toward me (just freakin' tell me to my face rather than dance around an issue), or being one way to my face and 2 seconds later talking about me behind my back, because someone else has another opinion. Can I just say get get a flippin' life already! We can choose the high road, or lower ourselves to that person's level. And yes, I said lower, because we need to have a standard operating in our own lives that we are unwilling to compromise on, for anyone! So there are struggles we face on a daily basis that don't put us into crisis mode, but can get the best of us at times. Hopefully we are mature enough to apologize when we react instead of respond to these types of things. I want to talk about what we do when we face big struggles. Life changing struggles and how we should respond to those struggles.
Can I just say that I am one who knows struggle! I've been a single parent for 16+ years (that's huge). I've had financial struggles for most of that time. I've had people judge me because of my past (Christians no less). I've had people judge my parenting style. I've lost everything and had to start over. I've had friendships dissolve in front of my eyes because I've had to take the high road on some issues. I've lost jobs. I've been sexually assaulted. The list goes on and on. So, I know struggle.
Over the past few months, I've had to purposely "fix" my attention on some areas that, if not dealt with, could have literally taken me so far off course in life. The struggles have seemed to nail me from every direction - family, personal, parenting, friendships, relationships, music, and the list goes on. My way of dealing with life struggles is to withdraw for a period of time from the sources of the pain, and surround myself with what I call, "My Core." This consists of individuals who have known me for many years, are solid in Christ, and LIVE the WORD obediently! Included in "my core" are also individuals that have known pain themselves and have overcome. I think its super important to have relationships with people that really identify with the things in which we struggle. Its very difficult for me, not impossible, but difficult for me to open my heart to someone that cannot identify with my struggle. Unless of course, its one of my spiritual father's. There is something about having that "Spiritual Dad" that can just make things clear! (I encourage you to find one or several.)
I want to give you some keys in which to deal with personal struggle, so you are able to rise above the circumstance, identify your weakness and begin the process of exchanging it for God's strength!
1. Deal with bitterness and FAST!
Whether its others that have judged you, or you feel mis-understood, or you even feel that God isn't rescuing you (we feel this people...let's be real) and making things better, don't get bitter! I had a conversation with a woman recently that is having huge issues in her church and she is dealing with bitterness. Listen, bitterness causes resentment and resentment causes us to have a critical spirit! When we become critical we cannot see things clearly!!! A critical spirit robs us, not anyone else, of life!
2. Choose the TRUTH!
Look, even if you are frustrated with God because you feel He's not helping you in the time you are requesting it, you need to persuade your heart! God is ON YOUR SIDE! You must be completely persuaded on that issue! God does not react to our temper tantrums. God responds to our situations and struggles. His plan will not fail! I am reminded of some song lyrics...."sometimes He calms the storm with a whisper peace be still, He can settle any sea, but it doesn't He will. Sometimes He holds us close and lets the winds and waves go wild. Sometime He calms the storms and other times He calms His child." I love this song, and while I don't agree with all of the lyrics because I don't believe God brings pain to our lives, I do believe He brings divine discontent so we see doors of opportunity He's preparing for us. See, sometimes we get so comfortable and miss where He wants to bring us. We need to know our identity in Christ and we also need to know the power of Christ within us. He will cause us to overcome!! No if's, and's, or but's about it!!!
3. Understand that rejection is not personal.
Rejection is a painful place and is usually very personal to us. Refuse to let it be! We as human beings can miss it so much! Every single one of us! We are far from perfect, but we have a Savior, who in His perfection, can identify with rejection! Jesus was rejected!
4. We have a race to run - get rid of the baggage! As a former track runner in high school, I would get the lightest weight, running shoes and seriously light weight spandex when I was competing. It's no accident when you see runners wearing as little as possible when they are in competition. You don't want anything to hold you back and slow you down. Its the same in our race that God has ordained and set before us. Identify the baggage that is holding you back and deal!
As for us, we have this large crowd of witnesses around us. So then, let us rid ourselves of everything that gets in the way, and of the sin which holds on to us so tightly, and let us run with determination the race that lies before us. Hebrews 12:1 [Good News Translation]
5. Look at the opportunity, not the problem!
It's easy to be overwhelmed with the problem, but I encourage you to look at the opportunity. Whatever you are dealing with, it's an opportunity to trust God! Focus on the opportunity! Focus on the fact that God will rescue you - it's His Word! Don't take your problem into your own hands. Your strength is futile in comparison to God's. Choose to exchange your problem for God's opportunity! Your weakness for His strength. You are just one choice away from resolving your struggle! Leave it in the Master's hands and continue to run your race! There is a finish line and it's gonna be a celebration when you cross that line!
In His Grip, Grace and Strength,
TDahl
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