I would be lying if I didn't say that the gift of music, specifically vocally, that God has given me, has been both a blessing and many times felt like a curse. Let me explain...
I honestly think I've been singing from the time I exited my mother's womb. My family has often told me stories of my childhood in which I was much to young to have any memory of, how I would sing everywhere I went. I wasn't embarrassed, although I would embarrass my sister at times (I still do that, because I can). While I have a gift of song, I do everything musically, solely by ear. I can play piano, albeit I'm very rusty, however, I cannot read one note! Even after taking piano lessons for 5 years as a child! Talk about frustrating. Why I have a mental block in this area, who knows. What I can tell you is that I feel music with my heart, on a level few people understand. Music moves me! When I do sing, it comes from my heart, and the gift of voice God has given me, touches people. I know this whole heartedly and it is incredibly humbling.
Why has it been a curse you ask...
Well, because others throughout my entire life have made it a "competition" or a "comparison." Can I just be real here? I hate anything that is competitive. Like ANYTHING! I became very aware of dislike of competition at a young age. In 8th grade another girl and I were trying out for the same part for the song "The Lone Wild Bird." The choir teacher had a vision for what she wanted and it came down to myself and this other girl, Nicole (I remember her last name btw). I sang the part and then the choir teacher had her sing the part. I absolutely LOVED her vocals for the part. Her voice was so strong and bold. It was beautiful. I appreciated every single moment of her try out. She was indeed a songstress. After she was done, she turned and looked at me and gave me a look that was so arrogant, as if to say "I so crushed you, on this one!" I was mortified. She got the part, because this part was clearly made for her, however my joy for her getting the part, quickly dissipated and became this awful disappointment in her, because of her haughtiness and arrogance. Those attitudes literally make me nauseated. These are the kind of things that I've experienced my entire life! Now do you understand. I also hate comparison. One of my huge pet peeves is when someone brings up the comparison factor and says "you sing it better than the artist." I would hope that when people cover another artists songs, they're not attempting to one up that artist. Do people really do that? All this to say, I enjoy the gift God has given me, and I enjoy the gifts that God has given his other kids as well, however sometimes all of His kids don't play well on the the same playground. With my personality, I just bow out and say "peace!" I'm good!! I'm not interested whatsoever. It makes me so uncomfortable. While I'm talking about pet peeves...church people this is for you...don't tell a worship leader they sing something better than another worship leader! Stop it!!! That is so awkward!!! What are we supposed to say to that? The gift of song is to be treasured. I may sing something that touches one heart, and another person may sing something that touches another heart. A heart that may not have been open to one, may be open to another. Don't discount God's super, on the natural, gift!
My best friend Mandy and I, when we sing together, its literally like 2 birds in flight. Have you ever seen 2 birds flying side by side and they each turn, and swoop, and fly higher, and dive, together, in unison? It's so beautiful to watch. We make each other shine for the glory of God. Which leads me to share one of the most beautiful experiences I've ever had musically. In my fifty-one years on this planet, I experienced something that has brought tears to my eyes every time I think about it.
It happened on this past Christmas Eve. I've been singing "Oh Holy Night" in front of audiences since I was 8 years old. It is my favorite Christmas song! I was leading this song for our Christmas Eve services at my church, however the version of the song was much different than what I had been singing for over forty years. That's a long time! I have a serious love/hate relationship with in ear monitors and the metronome (the click) in my ear for timing. Not to mention a whole different version of this song. I was overwhelmed. In practice, I couldn't get it right. I was stressing because I know how important Christmas Eve is and I didn't want to disappoint my team. I wanted someone else to lead it because I would rather it be right. I was really struggling. Cherish, our worship leader, said to me "we've got you!" Another one of our team, Rachel said, "do you want me to sing it with you?" I said, "that would be great!". Then, our drummer/music director, Jared, said "Tammy, do you want me to sing it with you?" As the music director/band leader, the team can hear him in our in ear monitors while we sing/play. I jumped at that and said, "that would be amazing!" Guess what? I nailed the song!!! Why? Because my team made me shine!!! No one knew what was happening in those in ear monitors, they only heard me! There was never a question of someone else leading the song because I couldn't get it right. My team literally rallied around me and made me shine!!! They weren't stressing out. They weren't looking for credit as to why it turned out so well. They simply showed up in a way to help me stand on their shoulders to deliver that song with ease and confidence, straight from my heart.
This is how its supposed to be! This is how God wants his children to live. Looking for the opportunities to make others shine!! God wants each and every one of us to shine! Shine bright for Him in all you do!!
That was the true Light, which lighteth every man that cometh into the world. John 1:9
No man, when he hath lighted a candle, covereth it with a vessel, or putteth it under a bed; but setteth it on a candlestick, that they which enter in may see the light. Luke 8:16
In His Grip, Grace, and Strength,
Tammy L. Dahl
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