The biggest part of charting a course for your life is to KNOW yourself! Know your inner core and basically inner character. It's discovering who you really are, what you like, what you dislike, what your passionate about, what your not, and then choosing to live out of that character, full throttle!
God fashioned me with certain characteristic qualities when He created me. I believe I spent the first 30 years of my life both fighting those qualities as well as figuring out those qualities. Surprise! By the time I hit my mid-30's I started becoming quite comfortable with me. They say that's when it begins to happen. By my late-30's, I began to fully embrace myself as a whole...flaws and all! So, here I am, nearing 41 years old and feel that I've got the foundation built in my life that I can now start building on! So, this is just a blog about a few things I've learned in getting to this stage, which I might add is absolutely AMAZING! I also want to encourage those in the journey called LIFE, thus my purpose for sharing!
A decision to live your authentic self! It's simple really! I made it so complicated the first half of my life. Wow! I do believe you have to take a journey of self-discovery...alone in my case! I see so many people that are literally afraid to be alone. I've been there...believe me. They bounce from one relationship to another and think they've found the be all and end all in the arms of someone. Meanwhile, they never take the time to discover who they really are by embracing every part of themselves...pain, hurt, victories, failures, successes, emotional baggage, relationship residue, like, dislikes, and on and on the story goes. I can say to live the life you desire....you must take a journey of self discovery and not be afraid to be your authentic self...unashamed!
Love.....
Many people ask me, "Tammy, how are you so content being single?" Well first, let me just tell you, that contentment was NOT an easy journey of discovery. NOT AT ALL! However, I can say it was completely worth it! You see, in my youth, I didn't go without a relationship of some kind from the time I was like 10...I'm not joking at all! I gave myself away over and over again from the time I was 13 until I was 23 years old, to receive what I refer to as false validation! I depended on a guy to validate my worth! Unfortunately, I did it in all the wrong ways and ended up feeling worthLESS!! So, when I got pregnant with my daughter at the age of 23, I had some super, super, hard decisions to make. One of the decisions would include not having a revolving door of men coming in and out of my life! After I had my daughter Mikayla, in 1995, that decision was more difficult than I had anticipated because life as a single mom was emotionally and physically taxing. I desired an emotional fix!!! I, however, got a grip early on and said, nope, I'm not living with a revolving door! So, I ultimately chose the single life. For nearly 10 years I would pine inside of myself desiring a man's love....it was so, so, so, difficult. I would cry and feel so unworthy and question why no one was looking my way, and feel that something was wrong with me. Throughout those painful years, I chose to find my worth and value in the One who created me...God! I studied His character, His immense love for me, and grew to love Him deeply, which in turn has led me to the place of complete contentment being single! In fact, I absolutely LOVE my single life! I'm free to do what I want, pursue goals I want, and create the life that I want! The first half of my life, I overgave to other's to try and satisfy a deep hole in my soul. I don't do that anymore! So, do I see myself single forever?....I have no idea. I can tell you I have absolutely no desire whatsoever at this stage in my life to be in a relationship. That may change, but its completely ok with me if it doesn't. So I've surrounded myself with amazing, authentic friendships, and experience love on a completely different level.
Praise Loud.....
Listen, one thing I've found in life is that you've gotta look for the good things! We all have junk! We all have issues and life circumstances that can knock us down, but let me tell you, there is always, always, always, something GOOD to find! Always! Years ago a pastor told me, "Tammy, if you can't find something good in your life, go out and find someone who is in a worse position than you are, serve them, and you'll find you'll become thankful real quick! That advice has carried me through the toughest of times - and I can tell you I followed it! To me praising loud is just letting your thankfulness drown out your sorrows! Your attitude of gratitude can become the loudest voice in your life...if you choose!
So...this next half of life...choose to "Live, Love, and Praise Loud!"
Be encouraged.....You can have the life you desire!!!
TDahl
