Jesus on Your Playground

So yesterday, I'm having this conversation via a Facebook status I posted, and my friend Erica responded with something that revolutionized my world in the blink of an eye.  You know how you can hear a message that someone preaches, or listen to a teaching of some kind, and what you're taking in, is good stuff, but then after a few hours your emotions settle and you go about your daily life?  You know what I'm talking about!!  Then there are other times that someone says something or writes something and your heart explodes and you know like you know, something just happened that would literally make a change in you and the way you view something!  Well, I had that moment I just described, yesterday - 11.28.2012! 

Here is the feed...

Erica Amalfitano:  Tammy the answer to where do you go to church is...I am the church. I'm in it everyday, all day long! You are about the Father's business! Community--people, not isolating yourself to one group, but giving and loving everyone. I'd say you hold church pretty well yourself!


Tammy Dahl:   That is so incredibly true Erica! You know what's super funny?  Darin saw this in me years ago! LOL LOL LOL!! He would be proud!!!! :-)

Erica Amalfitano:  I am a little "Darin" disciple. LOL!!! Actually He saw in me, a heart that sees the bigger picture. Too often we get caught up in "Who is the greatest among us" and miss that Jesus is playing with the kids.

Tammy Dahl:   LOL!!! I love him and I so love you!!!! :-) Right!!! I love love love that analogy....Jesus is playing with the kids! I feel so alive.....

Erica Amalfitano:   Keep dreaming, keep loving, keep believing for what you do not see!

Erica Amalfitano:  You are in a great place.

Tammy Dahl:   I just got a huge revelation Erica....everytime we use our gifts and talents for God, and follow the desires of our hearts....it's really Jesus, playing on our playground with us. The playground changes as we grow older, but its still "our" playground!!! We were meant to enjoy our gifts and talents, and use them to expand the Kingdom! WOW WOW WOW....Jesus is on the playground with me!! I'm balling my face off right now....LOL LOL LOL!!!

Erica Amalfitano:   He LOVES being with us and He LOVES when we truly operate in what He gave us. People have too small of sight. It's unfortunate that we do not like to see others enjoying God because we are envious that its not happening with us.

As that revelation in my heart exploded, God gave me something I never really identified with via experience.  I obviously had a head knowledge, but experiencially I couldn't really identify!  That something was a father on the playground with his kids.  I never had that!  I never had a father who was really actively involved in my life.  When Erica said that, my heart came alive in an instant!  My head knowledge, immediately became heart knowledge!  I began to think back and remember specific moments of my life that mean so much to me.  Moments when I was a little girl, running outside every morning at around this time (5:00 AM), riding my pony (that was my playground).  Moments that I went to gymnastics class and through practice, mastered my round off, double back hand spring, and my cartwheel on the balance beam.  The moment at my track meet when I jumped the gun because I was so excited that my mom could be there.  The time I delivered a flawless performance, singing "Memory" from Cats (that people still talk about - and it was 26 years ago).  All the things I've enjoyed my entire life!  Even writing this blog, this morning, knowing this is one of my playgrounds and Jesus is hanging with me on that playground! 

We grow and change.  We learn new things.  We age and can no longer do some of the things we used to, but our playground consistently changes and Jesus is even more excited than we are, that He gets to hang out with us!!  To really be aware of His presence and the enjoyment He and I get, together!  There are times throughout my day that I'm on autopilot!  I'm no more aware of His presence than the Man in the Moon!  Yet, to pause and really get an understanding that He's there - with us, enjoying our life moments!  Just meditate on that for a minute.  Think about your "playgrounds!"  Everytime your heart comes alive to something - be it serving someone, using one of your gifts or talents, loving someone, spending time with a friend, drinking an amazing cup of coffee and writing a blog (like I am right now).  Wow....it just keeps exploding in my heart!! 

I am someone who really enjoys my "alone" time.  I love peace and quiet.  I enjoy being with myself I guess you could say!  I enjoy me!  Well, Jesus knows I love that time and so there are many times He doesn't speak until I initiate the conversation.  I can just see Him sitting next to me, quietly, yet squirming in His chair, just waiting expectantly for my first word!  I think of the many times, I haven't spoken the first word and just go on about my day as if He doesn't exist.  Let's be real people!  I can see Him being disappointed that He didn't get to spend time with me!  Then I think about the times I've made it a "religious" practice and really don't get the full benefit of just hanging with Him.  At times it almost can become like a to do list and that is so not how God wants His time with us to be.  But what if, just what if we went about doing the things we loved, and lived with the constant awareness that Jesus is right along side of us, doing it with us and loving the time He gets to spend with us? 

What about the times you don't want to go to the playground?  Maybe you're dealing with a major loss in your life!  Maybe things are really tough right now financially, or emotionally for you and you just don't want to play.  I've been there several times in my life as well.  He'll hold you in the pain of life!  He's there to bring you through it.  He never leaves so just determine to live with an awareness that He's there!  There are times that I've felt a tangible presence.  A particular moment that I'll never forget was during a time in my life that my heart was just broken into pieces.  I was on a ladies retreat and I went back to my cabin and just began sobbing.  I literally felt Jesus crawl into bed with me, wrap His arms around me and I laid my head on His chest.  What's really crazy is I heard His heartbeat!  I didn't want to play on the playground, I needed something different in that season and God showed up in a personal, tangible way! 

I reflect once again on the book "Love Does" by Bob Goff.  There is a chapter entitled "Memorizing Jesus."  It begins with this quote..."I used to think I could learn about Jesus by studying Him, but now I know Jesus doesn't want stalkers."  He goes on to say later in that chapter these words...

"What I like about Jesus' message is that we don't need to study Him anymore to know Him.  That's what the religious people at the time were promoting.  Collecting information about someone is not the same as knowing a person.  Stalkers are ordinary people who study from afar the people they're too afraid to really know.  Jesus said that unless you know Him like a child you'll never really know Him at all.  Kids don't care about facts, and they certainly don't study each other.  They're just with each other; they do stuff together.  That's what Jesus had in mind."

Jesus is on your playground!  Your playground doesn't look like anyone else's playground!  So, go enjoy your time with Jesus...in a new way, on YOUR playground!! 



Hangin' with Jesus On My Playground,

TDahl

Liberated from Fear

I'm beginning to believe that I can almost call myself an expert in the area of life transitions, yet, I'm finding that I have so much to learn still...sigh!  For myself, and my particular personality bent, it is very difficult for me to let go of things in my life, to embrace the new things God is calling me toward.  I will rationalize and make excuses, even for others, to stay in my organized and structured world....because of fear!  About a year ago, God confronted me about an area I was walking in fear in, and had been nearly all my life!  He said plain and simple, "Tammy, you'll never accomplish what I've called you to do if you keep holding yourself back."  UGH....I so did not want to hear that!  He began to take me on a journey that was really painful to confront!  Really painful!!   

 

I compare it to my relationship with the ocean.  We have a love hate relationship actually.  I find it beautiful to look at as well as listen to.  I'll even step out and get my toes wet, then maybe I'll go ankle deep, but no deeper than the knees, because this girl wants to see the bottom and everything around me!  It's quite humorous actually.  God created me and I think He laughs as He watches my baby steps.  God knows however, what it takes for me to make serious life changing decisions and so, He begins to stir in my heart, what I refer to as, "divine discontent."  He's given me this gift, that sometimes I call a curse; and that is the gift of being unable to ignore my heart!  That makes for a very painful journey at times, but it also yields the fruit of an authentic life journey.  See, God wants to take us to the deep waters!  The unknown! 

 

When life transition moves into your world, and in my case, from all angles - family, church, work, you find out quickly what God has equipped you with on the inside!  You also find out the areas of your heart that are led by fear and which areas are led by faith!  And, finally, when you choose to take action, you find out who is really standing WITH you.  It can be very painful, but it is also very rewarding!  It's a double edged sword really.  I'm reminded of a sermon TD Jakes preached entitled, "Comrades, Confidants, and Constituents."  YouTube it, take notes, and save it in your favorites to revisit often!  My dear friend Mandy and I had a recent conversation about this sermon; can I just say I love that girl!  I've been struggling with engaging in a particular arena for quite some time.  She confronted me about it around the same time God did (imagine that).  Well, recently when I made a huge life decision, and began embracing what God has built me to do on a whole other level, she came to me, looked me in the eye, held my hand, and said, "Tammy, I am with you!  You don't have to worry about stepping on my toes, or holding yourself back, because I am with YOU!"  I can't tell you what that did to my heart, it's absolutely unexplainable in words.  She knows me well enough to know that I will hold myself back, to accommodate another. 

 

I'm one of those people that tries to take into account every person's heart.  I almost have to be forced to take my own heart into account.  Some may call that a weakness, I however would like to refer to it as a strength (I think I'm in denial - LOL).  In all seriousness though, I would like to refer to it as compassion.  Compassion is definitely something this heart of mine is equipped with because of my life experiences.  The bible refers to it as "one who is forgiven much, loves much!"  This girl has been forgiven of much throughout this life.  I think there is a point though that this characteristic can become a crutch because I can't solve another person's insecurities.  Only God is equipped for that job!  I've recently discovered that many times throughout my journey in life, I will hide my lamp under a bushel so to speak, so that another won't feel insecure or intimidated...and people that is just not healthy!!!  Well, God is setting me free from that!  I'm a work in progress and I have 3 best friends that are stuck to me like glue holding me accountable when they see me begin to do that!  I'm doing heart work in this area, and I've seen this particular characteristic in my life since I was a little girl!  I haven't wanted to look at it for what it really is, but I'm facing it head on!  What I won't become, is arrogant, because God's gifted me with a compassion that will never go away!  You don't forget the kind of roads I've traveled and you sure don't forget those who God sent along the way to mine the treasures in you!   

So I leave you with this thought - one that has resonated with me for years, but now has come alive in my heart, like a fire!!!  It's a quote by Marianne Williamson: 

 

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?"  Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a child of God.  Your playing small does not serve the world.  There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.  We are all meant to shine, as children do.  We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.  And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

 

Now go and shine bright - free from fear!!

TDahl