Get Off The Bench



YOU!  Yeah YOU...Get off the bench!!!



YOU!  Yeah YOU...GET OFF THE BENCH!!!

I just returned from attending Donald Miller's "Storyline" Conference in San Diego, CA.  To me, this conference was perfect timing in my life because God has been turning the pages of my life and I'm officially in a new chapter!  What a great way to begin this next chapter of my life! 

So you're probably asking the question "What is Storyline?"  Basically its a 2 day intense conference about "finding your sub-plot in God's story" (Donald Miller).  It helps bring clarity to your life when you seek to answer a few questions:

1.  Who are you?

2.  What do you want?

3.  What conflict must you engage?

4.  What's the plan?  

5.  What are the stakes? 

The most important of all the questions we had to ask ourselves over this weekend was this: 

 "What will the world miss, if you don't tell your story?" 

I chose that picture above, because my best friend Sameer, in our time of sharing, said, "We have to do something now because before we know it, we'll be drawing social security!"  We both know how quickly life passes us by and we both want to make an impact with our lives!  I don't want to be on the bench advising other people to go for the things their heart desires because I didn't follow my heart and take risks.  I want to be that old lady on the bench cheering people on telling them "if I did it, you can do it!"  At the end of my life when the credits roll, I want to know that my story made a difference!  I don't want my story to have been hijacked by something stupid!

One of the assignments we have (this is going to take me about 10 days to complete) is to create a timeline of our lives and then create a life theme.  Now, while I'm not quite sure what my life theme will be yet, I know that once I see the positive and negative turns on my timeline it will become clear.  I know that one of the things that resonates within my heart, as far as a life theme, was something that Mike Foster, Chief Chance Officer at People of the Second Chance said in his time of sharing.  He said "be a cheerleader for those who no one else is cheering for!"  As long as I can remember, I've always been for the underdog because I relate so well throughout my own personal life journey, and I know by experience, how much it meant and still means to me when someone cheers me on and truly believes in me with no other agenda than to see me live what's in my heart!!  I guess that's why I'm so passionate about seeing people live their dreams - especially those with the stakes stacked against them!   

Which leads me to tell you about my friend, Sameer.  He is one of my biggest cheerleaders!  And while he will totally be embarrassed by what I'm about to write, I'm writing it anyway!  Sameer has been in my life for fifteen years.  He's my best friend, my mentor, my cheerleader!  He literally has invested his time and money in my life!  He believes in me!  He has always believed in me and supported my endeavors.  He actually created my first website all on his own and surprised me with it back in 1998.  He had heard my testimony and that was what started this life long friendship we have.  I later shared with him that I wanted to write a book and when I finished it, he pre-edited it for me and gave me his feedback.  He is an amazing writer by the way!!  Follow his blog at www.withfavor.wordpress.com.  He is also the one who blessed me with this trip to San Diego!  He said he had been looking for a way to bless me and what better way than to invest in the next chapter of my life in such a profound way!  The fact that he and I were able to share this adventure together, made it one of the best times in my entire life!!

One of the things I've realized over the course of the last few months is that I became ok with sitting on the bench up until this past October!  A divine discontent as I refer to it, started to stir in my heart a few years ago.  The need to really make a difference began to push me!  I silenced my voice to support others in sharing their voice!  While that's not a bad thing, and my heart was truly in the right place, there came a point when I realized that I had forgotten that I really had something to say!!  I realized I was sitting on the bench and I was meant to be playing the game!  I want my life to be meaningful!  The world missed out for a long time because I decreased so others could increase!  Again, this is not a bad thing because I think that is necessary at times and the Bible instructs us to do that.  However, you must surround yourself with others who also recognize that they must decrease so you can increase!  It must be reciprocated.  That's one of the things I love about our Supernatural Saturday team (this is the worship team God put together and has had me lead).  We need each other!!  I decrease so that they can increase, and they decrease so I can increase!  This is a must in the body of Christ!  This is how God designed it!  I was approached by several people at one of our Supernatural Saturday Nights of Worship and they said the same thing:  "Tammy, I love that this is not just about you - not that it ever was (quote), but I love that everyone is using their gifts and talents and touching the body of Christ in the way that God has meant them to." That was the most incredible compliment I have received, because that my friends is my heart!! 

I share that with you because I want you, YEAH YOU...to get off the bench!  You've got something to share with this world!  You have dreams inside your heart that must be lived!  The world needs your story!  I reflect on one of the many things Donald Miller said - "God is asking us, what do you want to do with your life?  Let's dream it together!"

I also want to repeat something Donald said, because I believe it strongly:  "Jesus is not a product!!"  The Kingdom of God is NOT a corporation!  You are part of God's story!  God has given you agency to change the world!

Again I restate the question......What will the world miss is you don't tell your story?    

Tammy Dahl 

www.tammydahl.com

Ignoring Sideshow Distractions

God has created each of us uniquely!  We all have different ways of learning and growing intellectually and spiritually.  I love the uniqueness and creativity of the human race.  I love how God is intimate and personal with each of one of His kids and how He cultivates our hearts and minds based on how He personally designed, fashioned, and formed us!  In other words, God created us and therefore knows exactly how to teach us!

There are 7 learning styles that have been scientifically determined.  My learning style Major, is  "Intrapersonal."  This simply means that I'm private, introspective, independent, and I love to spend time on self-analysis.  In other words, I know my mind!  My Minor learning style, however, is "Kinesthetic" which basically means I learn things by using my body and sense of touch to learn about the world around me.  I'm a hands on kind of person.  My major and my minor are split nearly equally which I absolutely love, because putting those two learning styles together means I have to prove what I learn intellectually, with an experience physically!  Which brings me to share my latest blog, "Ignoring Sideshow Distractions."  So here we go....

I love to read the Bible especially when God gives me an experience to light the truth of what I've read.   Proverbs 4:25 [MSG] says...Keep your eyes straight ahead; ignore all sideshow distractions.


"Focus on what's ahead?"



Everyone knows what it means to focus, or look forward, or straight ahead, etc., but how do we really focus when we find ourselves in the midst of life circumstances that are screaming at us?  How do we silence those circumstances and stay focused on what's ahead?  It's not an easy task, let me tell you!  It's more difficult than anyone may lead you to believe.  Oh, it sure is easy to tell someone else to "focus on what's ahead," but when you yourself are in the midst of the chaos, its more difficult to overcome your obstacles with that less than authentic answer.  Just keepin' it real peeps!  At 41 years old, I think I've finally found the answer - at least for me.  Somehow I'm led to believe that this is also an answer for many others.  Let me share my experience with you that led me to my answer, and possibly yours!

I have wanted to go ziplining for what seems like, forever!  Well, that's exactly what my daughter and I did together the day after Thanksgiving this year.  Ok, I have to say, I thought this was going to be just climbing up to various platforms to zip down a cable and enjoy a rocket fast experience!  Ha!  Was I wrong!!!  To get to the fun, rocket fast, experience, I had to overcome a plethora of obstacles, at some points fifty feet above the ground, just being tethered to a cable!  I mean there were moving planks, hanging posts with little foot pegs that had to be navigated, there was even a place where you walked across the cable and had these little ropes to grab here and there to get you across.  You want to talk about physical!  HOLY SMOKES BATMAN!  I used muscles in my body that I didn't even know existed anymore.  LOL!  There were times I wanted to quit because it was so taxing on my body.  There were moments I was hanging on for dear life and praying to get my "ass across the falls" you could say!  There were times I had to literally place my attention so deeply on a "focus" point (mainly my guides eyes as he coached me through a series of obstacles).  Yep, I needed a coach at times to get through this course and also a solid decision of refusing to quit and to finish this thing!!!   

To get through these obstacles, I came to a point of having to choose.  If I was gonna make it, I had to make a choice that I was gonna make it!  I had to shut out the background noise of screaming kids that were also completing this adventure.  I had to stop looking at how high up I was and how far the ground was below me.  There were points in this journey that I had to take a brief rest on some of the platforms built in the trees to regain my focus.  In the midst of the obstacle, my passion and purpose to finish, had to be greater than any sideshow distraction!  Did you get that?  Let me say that again...."in the midst of the obstacle, my passion and purpose to finish, had to be greater than any sideshow distraction!"  God showed me this incredible truth through my adventure!  

As I reflect upon the book "Love Does" by Bob Goff, which I read prior to my ziplining adventure, I'm drawn to an excerpt:  "Jesus doesn't invite us on a business trip. Instead, He says let's go after those things that inspire and challenge you and let's experience them together. You don't need a lot of details or luggage or equipment, just a willingness to go into a storm with a Father who's kicking footholds into the steep sides of our problems while we kick a couple in ourselves too. He guides us into those footholds with His strong hands while we're safely tethered to Him by a bright red rope of grace, which holds us securely. Somehow in all of this, the terrain we navigate doesn't seem as scary either, because when we're on an adventure with God we're too excited to be afraid and too engaged to be thinking of anything else."

There are a lot of sideshow distractions that enter our story called life!  The question is, will you allow the distractions to consume you; to ultimately get you off track and off of your mission that God designed for you to accomplish, while your here for this brief time?  You must follow what your passionate about and then attach purpose, God's purpose, to your passion!  People don't question what they are passionate about!  They know these things!  The questions come when you attach purpose to what your passionate about!  There is great purpose within you!  You will find that great purpose when you decide to live full out of the passion that is resonating deep within you.  Maybe there are a ton of things you are doing that have nothing to do with your passion!  Begin to evaluate those areas and then determine if it is a sideshow distraction!  Sideshow distractions will keep you from two things:

A. - They will keep you from being fulfilled! 

B. - They will keep you from fulfilling that which you've been designed to accomplish! 

We were all created with passion and we were all created with a purpose to accompany that passion.  Your purpose is for others.  What sideshow distractions do you need to eliminate or eradicate?  What voices do you need to shut up and in some cases shut out?  It's time!  It's your time, if you choose for it to be! 

Tethered To Him,

TDahl

   

The Shift

Sometimes things in life just don't make sense.  Your mind and heart are in serious disconnect and you can't figure out why.  You pray, and seek, and pray, and seek...and nothing, nothing, brings clarity to this internal chaos brewing inside of you.  I think one's first response is to try and find the external source causing the disruption - after all it has to be something external - right?!  However, when you begin to turn inward - listen to your heart, silence your mind, you will soon find clarity.  Most of us try to ignore the discontent beneath our skin, because it appears easier to just cast it off, and take on the attitude of "this too shall pass."  You go about your life until something happens or someone says or does something that jerks you quickly back to the reality of this internal friction you've become so great at ignoring. 

So here's my story...

My shift began a little over 2 years ago.  I can't tell you what started it - not that I don't know, but its just something deeply personal.  One day I'll be able to talk about it, but right now its too emotionally raw for me.  I will say that there are only a handful of people that know all of the details because I've needed to have a venting place to express my heart and my mind and I've also needed solid people that were detached completely from the issues, that know me intimately, to help bring my heart to Jesus, helping me to keep a healthy perspective.  I can say that during this season, as time went on my heart went numb.  I was just going through the motions of showing up to life every day.  I questioned myself over and over again.  I tried calling things that were not as though they were-hoping to see evidence of something different.  I even came to a point where I just wanted to shut down and stop everything.  It was during this time in 2010 that I had decided to go on a mission trip to Haiti.  I was following the best advice I've ever gotten - "when you're down and out, go serve someone in a worse state than yourself!"  

As the wheels of the plane touched down in Haiti, my heart had not even been remotely prepared for what my eyes were about to see.  As we exited the airport, I was riding in the back seat of a truck, looking out the window as I saw my first "Tent City."  It took my breath away - in a not good way!  Tears began to well up in my eyes, and big crocodile tears began to roll down each cheek.  My week in Haiti put a longing in my heart.  A longing to serve on a grander scale; a longing to build relationship with those who are like minded; and sing like I've never sung before!  You may ask what does singing have to do with it?  Well, kinda everything!  That is what my heart has longed to do since I could say "Mama" and that is the very thing that the enemy of my soul has tried to rob from me!  

When I came back from Haiti I was a different person.  I dove into music like never before!   I recorded a debut worship album in Nashville, TN in March 2011 with a 7K investment from my Mom - because after all, when you tell someone you're a singer, you need a calling card!  Then another thing happened.  A friend of mine, Sam Francart, decided she was going to do the "World Race."  This is a year long mission trip which is incredibly intense. It's literally like 12 countries in 12 months.  So, I talked with some friends of mine who are musicians and singers and said, "hey how about we do a "Night of Worship" for Sam's mission trip?  They loved the idea and well, that's exactly what we did!  As a team, we had the best time together.  The Night of Worship was amazing! We created a life memory that weekend in March 2012, and one day when we're old and gray rocking on our rocking chairs, instead of rocking worship venues from a stage, whether were together or apart, we'll still laugh when we recall our time together that weekend! 

The "Night of Worship" we did that weekend, birthed a desire in us to do this all the time!  So, guess what, that's exactly what we did!   In May of this year, I was having a small picnic lunch with a few friends and one of my friends said, "hey you need to do more worship nights" (those same friends had traveled all the way down to Palm Beach from Eustis to attend the event).  I wanted to do that a few years back, but it never came to fruition.  Anyway, I agreed with them and "Supernatural Saturday" was born in my heart that day!  So I put a Facebook Status out there letting people know we needed a venue for a monthly "Night of Worship."  Within 5 minutes I had a message from an Elder from The Church at Whistling Pines in Umatilla.  We had the meeting the end of May and started "Supernatural Saturday" in July and we're still going!  If you ever want to come - its' the last Saturday of every month at 6:30 PM.  Visit my website at www.tammydahl.com for info! 

In August, my best friend Sameer, sent me an email telling me to go get the book "Love Does" by Bob Goff and he said, get it today!  It just so happened that I was passing by a Books-A-Million on my way back from a meeting in Orlando.  I swung in, purchased the book, and basically couldn't get my face out of it - and still can't!  Now listen, I read A LOT!!!  I love books!  Another benefit I have received from my best friend is that he always encouraged me to read, read, read!  I loved books as a child but somehow got away from reading until he came into my life nearly 15 years ago.  As a woman, its usually shoes or clothes that are our weakness, well, I can tell you, books are mine!  I want a huge library in my home one day, not in my garage (as it is now)!  I want a library, fully equipped with a rolling ladder!  On a side note, I realize there are a lot of people into those e-books, but to me there is nothing like having a book in your hands in which you can highlight quotes, scribble in the margins, earmark the pages, etc., because nothing compares!! 

As I read the pages of "Love Does" it was as if someone wrote my heart on those pages!  He said things, I'd only thought!  The entire book resonated in my heart and set my heart ablaze!  Forget a little spark people, this was a fire!!  It was as if someone took a tank of gas and doused the small burning embers of my heart!  This fire lit up my heart, my mind, my senses, and ultimately my entire world!  I saw things clearly!  I took a few months away from everything and everyone to get my heart and mind on the same page and then upon my re-engagement I gave my church my thirty day notice of my departure!  Yes, I left my church!  I sought out Pastor's Ted and Marie Morgan and asked them to be my covering because I needed to have leadership I could bounce things off of, and cover me in prayer, and support me!  I'm called to the world - a world full of hurting people!  I'm called to get my "skin in the game" of life, and to love in action!  I'm called to serve others!  You may find me in a church, or you may find me in a bar - loving people!  My agenda is simply to love!  

I've found my childlike faith again!  When I was a little girl, my favorite song was "Here Am I Lord, Send Me."  I would sing it in the shower, and on my way to school, and on my way home from school, in the valley riding my horse (I liked how it sounded in the valley - it resounded with an echo), and basically everywhere else!  As I grew older, the song was silenced, and in life I settled for a schedule instead of an adventure.  My heart has found that place of adventure again and I sing "Here am I Lord, send me." 

When you're a child, people's hearts are touched by you when all you want to do is serve Jesus.  However, when you're a grown up, and you're playing with the big kids on the playground, or what I refer to as bullies, there is a painful side to following Jesus - I'm not gonna lie!  Unfortunately its also people!  People with their big opinions, fork tongues, and false accusations...all in the name of Jesus, don't you know!  That's a whole other blog that one day...I will write!  However, I know from experience that the best way to silence your critics is to ignore the commentary!  If people want to assume the worst, then let them assume!  God knows my heart and frankly, that is all that matters!  Jesus went about the Father's business and boy, He sure had His critics!  Well, I've got mine and it's ok!  I may not be a cute little kid anymore in the eyes of people, but my heart is like that of a child, filled with faith and hope and LOVE!  I'm holding Jesus' hand and saying "Let's go" instead of asking "Where are we going?"  Who cares!  I'm with Jesus, so where ever we go is fine with me! 

I'll close with the lyrics to a song I used to sing often as a child.  Then, I didn't comprehend all that I do now...but it is refreshing to know I'm hand in hand with the one I asked to take my hand at the tender age of 7. 

My Father Planned It All

  

What tho' the way be lonely

And dark the shadows fall;

I know where'er it leadeth,

My Father planned it all.

There may be sunshine tomorrow,

Shadows may break and flee;

'Twill be the way He chooses,

The Father's plan for me.

He guides my falt'ring footsteps

Along the weary way,

For well He knows the pathway

Will lead to endless day.

A day of light and gladness

On which no shade will fall;

'Tis this at last awaits me -

My Father planned it all.

Chorus

I sing thru the shade and the sunshine,

I'll trust Him whatever befall;

I sing for I cannot be silent -

My Father planned it all.

P.S.  An addition to my "Caper", my best friend Sameer and I are having lunch/dinner with Bob Goff in February!  I get to connect with the man who penned his heart on the pages of "Love Does!"  Isn't that just like God giving His children above and beyond what they ever thought possible!

Living the Adventure,

TDahl

  

Sharing The Playground

This is a follow up to Jesus on Your Playground...

I've titled this blog "Sharing THE Playground."  Notice there is a significant difference in the word YOUR and THE.  I wanted to bring this to your attention first thing because YOUR playground is YOUR playground!  Your playground, as I previously mentioned, will not look like anyone else's playground.  Why?  Because there is NO ONE like you!  Even when someone operates in what appears to be the same gifting and talents you may possess, they are not you, and you are not them!  I'm attempting to drive that so deeply into your mind, that you never forget!!  

Years ago - 1999 to be exact, I was trying to be someone other than myself to attract someone I was interested in at the time.  God spoke to me clearly and directly and this is basically what He said...."Tammy, you rob yourself and others of the gift of you, when you're trying to be someone else.  I've created you and fashioned you with a purpose.  The way I've put you together, needs to be lived authentically, for you to touch those I've called you to touch, and develop the relationships I've planned for you to develop, and to make the impact I've called you to make!"  It hit me so hard when God spoke that to my heart!  It's also then, that I made a conscious decision to live authentically, no matter what! 

So lets talk about "THE" playground.  Erica had made a reference to something by a comment she made  (see Jesus on Your Playground) that was so true.  She said "Too often we get caught up in "Who is the greatest among us" and miss that Jesus is playing with the kids."  Now one thing I know, from raising a child myself, is that kids are usually selfish by nature, but especially when they are playing with others.  There are a few kids that have this supernatural gift of selflessness, but I have not seen many!  Parent's are constantly trying to teach their kids to share their toys, or let someone else have a turn crossing the monkey bars, etc.  You get my point, even if you don't have children!  Just observing them tells you everything you need to know.  I'm thinking back on how every Summer my daughter would go to her godparent's home for a few weeks.  Being a single mom for well, basically the whole time of raising my daughter, I tried very hard to surround her with a healthy traditional family environment (mom, dad, kids, etc.) so she could be in the mix of how one operates.  Well, her godparents have 4 kids and well, my daughter is an only child so for the first few days Mikayla would be struggling to be the center of attention because that's what she was used to at home, being an only child! It was quite interesting actually to watch a child fight for attention using all kinds of tactics.  I'm laughing just thinking of that!  What's not funny, is when we as adult "kids" of Father God, still wrestle with that "center of attention" complex and use all sorts of tactics that in the end hurt others, deeply!  

I for one, do not want to ever hurt anyone, but the fact is, I do, I will, and probably will again, several more times as long as I'm alive!  It's called "not being perfect!"  I do however like to share "THE" playground.  I've always been for the "underdog" for lack of a better term.  I've found at times that kicks me in teeth, but the bottom line is, I want people to integrate "their" playground into "my" playground and see THE playground!!  My heart for building community has been developed over the years.  It started when I was a little girl.  As a child, I was part of a church that was very judgmental.  In fact, if you did something wrong, you were used as the "example" from the pulpit of what not to do.  Even if you weren't used as the example, you were shunned by the "leadership" if you weren't living up to their expectations.  I saw many people walk away from God, leave the church building, and ultimately leave community!!  It hit my life like an arrow as well, because we were one of those families that walked away!  That's why now, when I see a family or someone leave a "church" family I run after them!  In my previous 2 churches, when people left, I literally looked them up, one by one, and went after them!  No one knew I did that!  I didn't advertise it all over the place.  You may ask, why did I do that?  The answer is simply because I wanted to be sure they had community!!  Listen, I don't care when someone chooses a different church home, I just want to know they are building community with others and not isolating!  Jesus left the flock to go after the one!  It is imperative we are part of community!  Being part of community does present its challenges because there are times when "I" gets in the way of "We."  There is a "Who is the greatest among us" complex and we miss that Jesus is playing with the kids, as Erica shared.  "We" is always more powerful than "I." 

We need live in the awareness that Jesus playing on our playground is personal, and intimate, and reserved for us as an individual!  We also need to live in the awareness that Jesus is playing with the other kids on their playgrounds and it will look different, and be different, and is personal and intimate to them!  We need to live without comparing the playgrounds!!!  There is absolutely no comparison!!!  We also need to live with the awareness that just because someone elses playground looks different from ours, doesn't justify selfishness!  We then need to integrate our playgrounds and play together - giving and receiving from each other!  There is so much we have to offer each other as brothers and sisters in Christ!!  Look, if God didn't create another fingerprint like mine, and He didn't create another fingerprint like yours, don't you think He wants us to share with each other to get the full benefit of Him?  We are the body of Christ!!  Some of us are hands, some of us are arms, some of us are legs, some of us are feet, some of us are mouths, etc.!  We are all moving parts of ONE body, yet each part is important for the other to function.  I'm reminded of the scripture that says where one can put a thousand to flight, two can put ten thousand!  I don't know about you, but I'm ready for authentic multiplication in the body of Christ!  

Let's play nice!  Let's appreciate what each other have to offer!  Let's look at the power of multiplication!  The harvest is ripe, but the laborers are few!  Lets link arms and break down the ministry walls that tend to separate, and co-labor together to integrate!!  

See you on THE playground!

TDahl 

Jesus on Your Playground

So yesterday, I'm having this conversation via a Facebook status I posted, and my friend Erica responded with something that revolutionized my world in the blink of an eye.  You know how you can hear a message that someone preaches, or listen to a teaching of some kind, and what you're taking in, is good stuff, but then after a few hours your emotions settle and you go about your daily life?  You know what I'm talking about!!  Then there are other times that someone says something or writes something and your heart explodes and you know like you know, something just happened that would literally make a change in you and the way you view something!  Well, I had that moment I just described, yesterday - 11.28.2012! 

Here is the feed...

Erica Amalfitano:  Tammy the answer to where do you go to church is...I am the church. I'm in it everyday, all day long! You are about the Father's business! Community--people, not isolating yourself to one group, but giving and loving everyone. I'd say you hold church pretty well yourself!


Tammy Dahl:   That is so incredibly true Erica! You know what's super funny?  Darin saw this in me years ago! LOL LOL LOL!! He would be proud!!!! :-)

Erica Amalfitano:  I am a little "Darin" disciple. LOL!!! Actually He saw in me, a heart that sees the bigger picture. Too often we get caught up in "Who is the greatest among us" and miss that Jesus is playing with the kids.

Tammy Dahl:   LOL!!! I love him and I so love you!!!! :-) Right!!! I love love love that analogy....Jesus is playing with the kids! I feel so alive.....

Erica Amalfitano:   Keep dreaming, keep loving, keep believing for what you do not see!

Erica Amalfitano:  You are in a great place.

Tammy Dahl:   I just got a huge revelation Erica....everytime we use our gifts and talents for God, and follow the desires of our hearts....it's really Jesus, playing on our playground with us. The playground changes as we grow older, but its still "our" playground!!! We were meant to enjoy our gifts and talents, and use them to expand the Kingdom! WOW WOW WOW....Jesus is on the playground with me!! I'm balling my face off right now....LOL LOL LOL!!!

Erica Amalfitano:   He LOVES being with us and He LOVES when we truly operate in what He gave us. People have too small of sight. It's unfortunate that we do not like to see others enjoying God because we are envious that its not happening with us.

As that revelation in my heart exploded, God gave me something I never really identified with via experience.  I obviously had a head knowledge, but experiencially I couldn't really identify!  That something was a father on the playground with his kids.  I never had that!  I never had a father who was really actively involved in my life.  When Erica said that, my heart came alive in an instant!  My head knowledge, immediately became heart knowledge!  I began to think back and remember specific moments of my life that mean so much to me.  Moments when I was a little girl, running outside every morning at around this time (5:00 AM), riding my pony (that was my playground).  Moments that I went to gymnastics class and through practice, mastered my round off, double back hand spring, and my cartwheel on the balance beam.  The moment at my track meet when I jumped the gun because I was so excited that my mom could be there.  The time I delivered a flawless performance, singing "Memory" from Cats (that people still talk about - and it was 26 years ago).  All the things I've enjoyed my entire life!  Even writing this blog, this morning, knowing this is one of my playgrounds and Jesus is hanging with me on that playground! 

We grow and change.  We learn new things.  We age and can no longer do some of the things we used to, but our playground consistently changes and Jesus is even more excited than we are, that He gets to hang out with us!!  To really be aware of His presence and the enjoyment He and I get, together!  There are times throughout my day that I'm on autopilot!  I'm no more aware of His presence than the Man in the Moon!  Yet, to pause and really get an understanding that He's there - with us, enjoying our life moments!  Just meditate on that for a minute.  Think about your "playgrounds!"  Everytime your heart comes alive to something - be it serving someone, using one of your gifts or talents, loving someone, spending time with a friend, drinking an amazing cup of coffee and writing a blog (like I am right now).  Wow....it just keeps exploding in my heart!! 

I am someone who really enjoys my "alone" time.  I love peace and quiet.  I enjoy being with myself I guess you could say!  I enjoy me!  Well, Jesus knows I love that time and so there are many times He doesn't speak until I initiate the conversation.  I can just see Him sitting next to me, quietly, yet squirming in His chair, just waiting expectantly for my first word!  I think of the many times, I haven't spoken the first word and just go on about my day as if He doesn't exist.  Let's be real people!  I can see Him being disappointed that He didn't get to spend time with me!  Then I think about the times I've made it a "religious" practice and really don't get the full benefit of just hanging with Him.  At times it almost can become like a to do list and that is so not how God wants His time with us to be.  But what if, just what if we went about doing the things we loved, and lived with the constant awareness that Jesus is right along side of us, doing it with us and loving the time He gets to spend with us? 

What about the times you don't want to go to the playground?  Maybe you're dealing with a major loss in your life!  Maybe things are really tough right now financially, or emotionally for you and you just don't want to play.  I've been there several times in my life as well.  He'll hold you in the pain of life!  He's there to bring you through it.  He never leaves so just determine to live with an awareness that He's there!  There are times that I've felt a tangible presence.  A particular moment that I'll never forget was during a time in my life that my heart was just broken into pieces.  I was on a ladies retreat and I went back to my cabin and just began sobbing.  I literally felt Jesus crawl into bed with me, wrap His arms around me and I laid my head on His chest.  What's really crazy is I heard His heartbeat!  I didn't want to play on the playground, I needed something different in that season and God showed up in a personal, tangible way! 

I reflect once again on the book "Love Does" by Bob Goff.  There is a chapter entitled "Memorizing Jesus."  It begins with this quote..."I used to think I could learn about Jesus by studying Him, but now I know Jesus doesn't want stalkers."  He goes on to say later in that chapter these words...

"What I like about Jesus' message is that we don't need to study Him anymore to know Him.  That's what the religious people at the time were promoting.  Collecting information about someone is not the same as knowing a person.  Stalkers are ordinary people who study from afar the people they're too afraid to really know.  Jesus said that unless you know Him like a child you'll never really know Him at all.  Kids don't care about facts, and they certainly don't study each other.  They're just with each other; they do stuff together.  That's what Jesus had in mind."

Jesus is on your playground!  Your playground doesn't look like anyone else's playground!  So, go enjoy your time with Jesus...in a new way, on YOUR playground!! 



Hangin' with Jesus On My Playground,

TDahl

Liberated from Fear

I'm beginning to believe that I can almost call myself an expert in the area of life transitions, yet, I'm finding that I have so much to learn still...sigh!  For myself, and my particular personality bent, it is very difficult for me to let go of things in my life, to embrace the new things God is calling me toward.  I will rationalize and make excuses, even for others, to stay in my organized and structured world....because of fear!  About a year ago, God confronted me about an area I was walking in fear in, and had been nearly all my life!  He said plain and simple, "Tammy, you'll never accomplish what I've called you to do if you keep holding yourself back."  UGH....I so did not want to hear that!  He began to take me on a journey that was really painful to confront!  Really painful!!   

 

I compare it to my relationship with the ocean.  We have a love hate relationship actually.  I find it beautiful to look at as well as listen to.  I'll even step out and get my toes wet, then maybe I'll go ankle deep, but no deeper than the knees, because this girl wants to see the bottom and everything around me!  It's quite humorous actually.  God created me and I think He laughs as He watches my baby steps.  God knows however, what it takes for me to make serious life changing decisions and so, He begins to stir in my heart, what I refer to as, "divine discontent."  He's given me this gift, that sometimes I call a curse; and that is the gift of being unable to ignore my heart!  That makes for a very painful journey at times, but it also yields the fruit of an authentic life journey.  See, God wants to take us to the deep waters!  The unknown! 

 

When life transition moves into your world, and in my case, from all angles - family, church, work, you find out quickly what God has equipped you with on the inside!  You also find out the areas of your heart that are led by fear and which areas are led by faith!  And, finally, when you choose to take action, you find out who is really standing WITH you.  It can be very painful, but it is also very rewarding!  It's a double edged sword really.  I'm reminded of a sermon TD Jakes preached entitled, "Comrades, Confidants, and Constituents."  YouTube it, take notes, and save it in your favorites to revisit often!  My dear friend Mandy and I had a recent conversation about this sermon; can I just say I love that girl!  I've been struggling with engaging in a particular arena for quite some time.  She confronted me about it around the same time God did (imagine that).  Well, recently when I made a huge life decision, and began embracing what God has built me to do on a whole other level, she came to me, looked me in the eye, held my hand, and said, "Tammy, I am with you!  You don't have to worry about stepping on my toes, or holding yourself back, because I am with YOU!"  I can't tell you what that did to my heart, it's absolutely unexplainable in words.  She knows me well enough to know that I will hold myself back, to accommodate another. 

 

I'm one of those people that tries to take into account every person's heart.  I almost have to be forced to take my own heart into account.  Some may call that a weakness, I however would like to refer to it as a strength (I think I'm in denial - LOL).  In all seriousness though, I would like to refer to it as compassion.  Compassion is definitely something this heart of mine is equipped with because of my life experiences.  The bible refers to it as "one who is forgiven much, loves much!"  This girl has been forgiven of much throughout this life.  I think there is a point though that this characteristic can become a crutch because I can't solve another person's insecurities.  Only God is equipped for that job!  I've recently discovered that many times throughout my journey in life, I will hide my lamp under a bushel so to speak, so that another won't feel insecure or intimidated...and people that is just not healthy!!!  Well, God is setting me free from that!  I'm a work in progress and I have 3 best friends that are stuck to me like glue holding me accountable when they see me begin to do that!  I'm doing heart work in this area, and I've seen this particular characteristic in my life since I was a little girl!  I haven't wanted to look at it for what it really is, but I'm facing it head on!  What I won't become, is arrogant, because God's gifted me with a compassion that will never go away!  You don't forget the kind of roads I've traveled and you sure don't forget those who God sent along the way to mine the treasures in you!   

So I leave you with this thought - one that has resonated with me for years, but now has come alive in my heart, like a fire!!!  It's a quote by Marianne Williamson: 

 

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?"  Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a child of God.  Your playing small does not serve the world.  There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.  We are all meant to shine, as children do.  We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.  And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

 

Now go and shine bright - free from fear!!

TDahl

Into Me See = Intimacy

The last week has been an emotional whirlwind for me, for so many reasons!  The number one reason was the news I received about my friend Darin Hufford who is literally fighting for his life as I write this blog this morning. 

When I connected with Darin several years ago, it was through my ministry Out of Exile.  He had heard my story and if I remember correctly he reached out to me.  We talked on the phone several times and I remember thinking to myself, is this guy for real?  Something was different about him than from any other person I had talked to or connected with my entire life.  Throughout our conversations we would joke about things, laugh about stupid stuff, talk on levels that were so deeply engaging that it literally would freak me out!  I was so guarded at that time when it came to men in general because of the intense hurt I had come from, but it was like this guy could read my heart and calm my fears in an instant. 

He then sent me his book - "The God's Honest Truth."  When I read that book, I experienced so many moments of freedom in my heart regarding my relationship with God.  It was crazy good!  The book has been retitled to "The Mis-Understood God" and I would encourage you to pick up a copy!  Soon after we had begun conversing via the phone, he had a speaking engagement in Florida.  I invited him to stay here at my house while he was in town.  Seeing as my mom and I reside together, it was appropriate to offer my home.  When he arrived, I picked him up at the airport, and we stopped at a restaurant to eat dinner.  We just chatted as usual.  My mind was racing in all these different directions (you know when you're trying to pay attention, but your mind is just evaluating someone, taking them in, questioning things, etc.) and I kept telling myself to FOCUS!  There was just this presence about him unlike anything I had ever experienced before.  He was engaged in conversation and made me feel like I was worth listening to, I guess you could say.  Have you ever talked to someone and you're sharing your heart and then they just kinda glaze over mid-conversation and you feel like, excuse me, I'm talking, listen to me, I'm opening my heart to you and sharing something?  With Darin, I assure you that you will NEVER get that kind of response.  He is so engaged and so interested that you almost feel uncomfortable.  It's like you feel your heart has been stripped down to the raw and its just out there, vulnerable, for the world to see!  You can't help it!  You can't stop it!  You have no control over that - and can I tell you its freaking scary!  In my case, terrifying! During that time with him though, I was forced to confront my demons of having a rejection based mindset and share with him....AFRAID!  Listen, Darin doesn't do casual when it comes to relationships!!  

Darin and Angie Hufford



This morning as I sit here, I am so thankful for his amazing wife!  I would think that most women would struggle having their husband travel to another state, stay in the home of a woman she's never met and totally be ok with that!  One day, if marriage is part of God's plan for me, I so want to be that kind of woman!!!  A woman willing to do what it takes for her man to accomplish his mission in Christ!  Angie, even though I've never met you - you've inspired me from day one!  Darin was used as an instrument of God to touch my life with something new - its called intimacy - INTO ME SEE!  Another friend of mine, Gene McConnell, describes intimacy using that description and it is so incredibly appropriate!  Because of Darin's example and of course his heart for God, his willingness to take my heart on an authentic journey to my God, it literally opened up the path for me to be intimate with God!  My life was changed because God connected me with him!  I continue the journey and now I freak people out because I want to know them deeply, and I care authentically!  There is nothing like intimacy with God that overflows into having intimacy with others! 

 - INTO ME SEE -

Darin and Angie, I love you!  

TDahl