A Letter to My Mom

I read such an amazing article a few weeks ago "10 Things I Would Say to My Mother....if she were still alive."  As I read those personal things that the author shared, tears began to well up in my eyes and started slowly streaming down my face along with the emotion of "I have got to do this....while my mom is alive!"  So this is what I wrote to her.  I hope it may inspire those of you who are still blessed to have your mother living, to share too!

So here goes...

(not in any particular order)                      

1.  Mom, remember that time we just took off in someone else's car you borrowed because you were afraid ours wouldn't make the road trip?  We didn't know where we were headed but we ended up in Wisconsin Dells.  You paid for us to go to the water park and I said I didn't have a bathing suit....you said "oh, you only live once....slide down this water slide in your jeans and t-shirt!"  I froze my butt off all the way home, but that memory is the flippin' best ever!  Thank you for the adventure!!!

2.  I loved getting up with you super early when you owned the restaurant.  I know we laugh about this all the time, but I loved super huge pancakes.  You would always let me cook it on the grill, but this one time I poured so much batter on the grill that it was HUGE!  If my pancakes got too dark I wouldn't eat them so I ran back to the kitchen and said "Mom, Mom....come flip my pancake!"  You were running to the grill and you flipped that huge thing like a pro!  You were my hero then and you are my hero now!!!

3.  The trip to Minneapolis to see my Grandma Dahl and we found out she had passed away....you did everything you could to be sure I at least reconnected with my Dad.  We went to "Denny's" and you and my dad had a great time together and I got to spend time with him which made me feel so amazing.  I love that you never said anything bad about my dad and always protected that "Prince" image I had in my heart for him...even though he wasn't part of my life.  I loved our road trips together!! 

4.  Our Dukes of Hazzard clunker of a car!  It was so embarrassing to climb out of that dumb car window in the dead of winter because the doors wouldn't work.  The exhaust fumes almost made us pass out it was so bad....but shoot, looking back we had some pretty hilarious laughs over that car!!  Vroom Vroom piece of junk!  You always made everything positive, even though I now understand because of life in general, how hard that must have been for you.  Thank you for always being so incredibly optimistic.  I love that about you.....

5.  Your endless advice!!!  Oh how I love to talk with you about anything and get your input.  You've always loved me unconditionally.  You tell it to me straight up!  Sometimes your candidness frustrates me, especially when you see something I refuse to look at.  Yet, this is the essence of who you are!  You don't sugar coat things in life and I love that about you.  You have a protective eye and watch out for me. 

6.  Your investment in cultivating my gift!  My voice!  From the time I was a little kid through today, you constantly invest in this voice of mine!  I remember at about the age of 7, we went on our yearly family vacation to Camp Chetek.  They asked me to sing for the service one evening.  I went up to that big pulpit that swallowed me whole, and the pastor moved his chair up to the podium so I could stand on that!  I remember climbing that chair and looking out to a crowd of about about 800 to 1000 people.  I delivered my song and you were just smiling ear to ear!!  Now in my adult years, leading worship on certain occasions, I still look for you in that front row...smiling ear to ear!!!   Speaking of music....I'll never ever forget the time you sang in church (you sang a lot) the most beautiful rendition of the song "Ten Thousand Angels."  Wow!!!  Blew me away as a little girl watching my Mommy sing!!   I wish I had that recorded!!! 

7.   I loved how you encouraged my love for animals.  I would rescue anything I could...still do!  You taught me responsibility by giving me responsibility of a living thing that depended on my care if it was going to survive.  It wasn't an option.  I love you so much for that!  That teaching has given me a tenacity in life to take care of what needs to be taken care of along with a loyalty and committment that few possess today!  Thank you!!!

8.   People that know you, love you!!!  You have always been the rock in our family and in my friendships I've shared throughout my life.  My friends would always come to you for life advice because you would share your mistakes and be so open and real with them.  My close friends still come to you!  For many of my friends that have lost their mom's, you've become a 2nd mom!  You are an amazing woman that has soooo much to offer! 

9.  You, my precious mother, love much!!  You believe in people!!  You can look at the worst mess someone has made of their lives and see potential where others just walk away!!  You've taught me to stick with the underdog by your example!  You've shown me that when you believe in someone, GREAT MIRACLES happen!  You've taught me to stand with the ones who have been rejected and cast off!!  I've been this way since I was a little girl...whether it was some kid picking on another kid that couldn't stand up for themselves or the church I grew up in was calling people out on their "sin" from the pulpit!  I wouldn't stand for it then and I won't stand for it now!  Thank you for showing me by action what love can do!!!  I've seen so many people throughout the years, that you've invested your life in, get turned around and become a success.  Your love always pointed them to Jesus!!! 

10.  There are a bazillion more things I can think of that I could tell you and I know I have throughout the years, but I'll close with this....Thank you for always believing in me no matter what!  When I haven't believed in myself, you have believed!  You've put your money where your mouth is soooo many times.  Spending your last dollar for me to audition for "Kids for Wisconsin" and even though I didn't make it (they sure wanted me to and even gave me a second chance...I just couldn't get that dance down..ugh), to literally investing thousands of dollars in this last CD project!  You are with me all the way!!!  I cannot tell you how amazing it was to have you there, in the studio in Nashville, supporting me and encouraging me and praying for me!!!  Then to invest in my friend Mandy as well.....YOU BELIEVED IN US!!!  YOU GAVE US WINGS TO FLY!!!  Throughout my entire life you've invested in the lives of others, helping them to cultivate their gift of music!  I follow in your footsteps!!  Mom, you truly are the most amazing woman!!!  I'm honored to call you Mother!!!  I love you.......I love sharing life with you....and I hope we have many more years to travel this road called life...TOGETHER!!!

With all my love,

Tammy

Live, Love, and Praise Loud

I've come to a place in my life that I've determined this next half of life, will be my best half!  I've summed up this next half with these 5 words...."Live, Love, and Praise Loud!" 

The biggest part of charting a course for your life is to KNOW yourself!  Know your inner core and basically inner character.  It's discovering who you really are, what you like, what you dislike, what your passionate about, what your not, and then choosing to live out of that character, full throttle! 

God fashioned me with certain characteristic qualities when He created me.  I believe I spent the first 30 years of my life both fighting those qualities as well as figuring out those qualities.  Surprise!  By the time I hit my mid-30's I started becoming quite comfortable with me.  They say that's when it begins to happen.  By my late-30's, I began to fully embrace myself as a whole...flaws and all!  So, here I am, nearing 41 years old and feel that I've got the foundation built in my life that I can now start building on!  So, this is just a blog about a few things I've learned in getting to this stage, which I might add is absolutely AMAZING!  I also want to encourage those in the journey called LIFE, thus my purpose for sharing!

What's it take to "Live" the life you desire....

A decision to live your authentic self!  It's simple really!  I made it so complicated the first half of my life.  Wow!  I do believe you have to take a journey of self-discovery...alone in my case!  I see so many people that are literally afraid to be alone.  I've been there...believe me.  They bounce from one relationship to another and think they've found the be all and end all in the arms of someone.  Meanwhile, they never take the time to discover who they really are by embracing every part of themselves...pain, hurt, victories, failures, successes, emotional baggage, relationship residue, like, dislikes, and on and on the story goes.  I can say to live the life you desire....you must take a journey of self discovery and not be afraid to be your authentic self...unashamed!

Love.....

Many people ask me, "Tammy, how are you so content being single?"  Well first, let me just tell you, that contentment was NOT an easy journey of discovery.  NOT AT ALL!  However, I can say it was completely worth it!  You see, in my youth, I didn't go without a relationship of some kind from the time I was like 10...I'm not joking at all!  I gave myself away over and over again from the time I was 13 until I was 23 years old, to receive what I refer to as false validation!  I depended on a guy to validate my worth!  Unfortunately, I did it in all the wrong ways and ended up feeling worthLESS!!  So, when I got pregnant with my daughter at the age of 23, I had some super, super, hard decisions to make.  One of the decisions would include not having a revolving door of men coming in and out of my life!  After I had my daughter Mikayla, in 1995, that decision was more difficult than I had anticipated because life as a single mom was emotionally and physically taxing.  I desired an emotional fix!!!  I, however, got a grip early on and said, nope, I'm not living with a revolving door!  So, I ultimately chose the single life.  For nearly 10 years I would pine inside of myself desiring a man's love....it was so, so, so, difficult.  I would cry and feel so unworthy and question why no one was looking my way, and feel that something was wrong with me.  Throughout those painful years, I chose to find my worth and value in the One who created me...God!  I studied His character, His immense love for me, and grew to love Him deeply, which in turn has led me to the place of complete contentment being single!  In fact, I absolutely LOVE my single life!  I'm free to do what I want, pursue goals I want, and create the life that I want!  The first half of my life, I overgave to other's to try and satisfy a deep hole in my soul.  I don't do that anymore!  So, do I see myself single forever?....I have no idea.  I can tell you I have absolutely no desire whatsoever at this stage in my life to be in a relationship.  That may change, but its completely ok with me if it doesn't.  So I've surrounded myself with amazing, authentic friendships, and experience love on a completely different level.

Praise Loud.....

Listen, one thing I've found in life is that you've gotta look for the good things!  We all have junk!  We all have issues and life circumstances that can knock us down, but let me tell you, there is always, always, always, something GOOD to find!  Always!  Years ago a pastor told me, "Tammy, if you can't find something good in your life, go out and find someone who is in a worse position than you are, serve them, and you'll find you'll become thankful real quick!  That advice has carried me through the toughest of times - and I can tell you I followed it!  To me praising loud is just letting your thankfulness drown out your sorrows!  Your attitude of gratitude can become the loudest voice in your life...if you choose!

So...this next half of life...choose to "Live, Love, and Praise Loud!"

Be encouraged.....You can have the life you desire!!!

TDahl

"What Did He Say About Me" - "I Will Give You Hope"

Excerpt from my 31 Day Devotional - "What Did He Say About Me"

“Daily Scripture:

Isaiah 61: 7 AMP

Instead of your [former] shame you shall have a twofold recompense; instead of dishonor and reproach [your people] shall rejoice in their portion. Therefore in their land they shall possess double [what they had forfeited]; everlasting joy shall be theirs.

Daily Devotion:

All promises from God are great! This promise however, is absolutely my favorite!!! My pastor recently preached a sermon on hope. When he used this scripture, he defined the word forfeited. Forfeited means, something surrendered due to an offense or error I’ve made. WOW!



Hope is the expectation of good



I’ve heard great preacher’s say, well if you sin; you better watch it, because God will curse you. Yes, I’ve heard that with my own ears! Now don’t get me wrong I believe strongly in consequences to our actions! When we sin there are consequences. However, it’s not God getting you! God has set up both natural and spiritual laws within the earth. He’s given man (and woman) dominion in the earth, but all humanity is governed by these laws. Jesus became the curse for us, so we don’t walk around cursed by God. However, we choose life or death constantly. Anytime we obey God, we’ve chosen life. Just like anytime we disobey God, then we’ve chosen death. The consequences of sin bring a “death” to our life because we can’t experience God’s fullness while we are in disobedience. It’s not God withholding it from us, it is literally our inability to receive what He’s already given us! Sin causes us to have a heart of stone. When we repent, which simply means to change our minds and choose life, our heart then becomes open to God’s way! However, many times, because we feel guilty and ashamed we still are unable to receive the goodness of God! Yet, when we feel guilt and shame, we are really taking upon ourselves, what Jesus already took upon Himself! We are taking back the curse because we identify ourselves by our deeds! Jesus said right before He died, “it is finished,” yet we keep taking what was finished two thousand years ago, back!

If we’ve truly repented; changed our minds and let God into our weakness, whatever that may be, then what we need to do, is identify ourselves by the deeds of Christ. We simply need to agree with what God says!



As a child I was taught not to take the Lord’s name in vain. This was defined by the words “God, Gosh, Geez, etc.” In fact, if I said “Oh my God,” I was instructed that I was in sin and that I needed to repent! Well, years ago as I was training up my child in the way she should go, the Lord spoke to me one day and challenged me with what that commandment really meant. I was like, well God; this is what I’ve been taught. The Lord then taught me something. God spoke to me and said that what that scripture really meant was that anytime we don’t agree with what He declares, we are taking His name in vain. It made perfect sense to me. In order to see ourselves as God sees us, we need to agree with what He says! So when faced with difficulties, life challenges or decisions we must ask ourselves, what does God say about this?

 



Well we know that He says instead of our former shame we shall have a twofold recompense. That means we get double the good for the bad!! Many people will challenge that and say well this works only if someone else had taken something from you or has done something bad to you. I believe that, but that’s not the entire promise. I think it’s easy to believe that things will get restored to you if someone else is the cause, however let’s take a look at the word forfeited! Forfeited means something we caused! That means when we’re the common denominator in the mistake, we still will be restored double when we choose to agree with God! Does that not make hope come alive in your heart? Hope is the expectation of good! Expect good when you begin to agree with what God says!

Tammy L. Dahl

Copyright 2006

What Do I Believe?

The Bible instructs us on what to believe. The preacher teaches us what we should believe. However, only you can answer the question of – What do I believe?

One of my favorite scriptures in the Bible is Proverbs 4:23 NLT - Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do.

Your heart is the center of what you believe

Your heart is the center of what you believe. As a young child I did not even know this verse, let alone even think about “guarding my heart.” As a child, the Bible to me was just a cool book (I’ve always loved leather-bound books!) with a bunch of words that were hard to understand and absolutely made no sense at all with all the “thee’s” and “thou’s,” written upon its pages. Furthermore, we mustn’t forget all the “shalt not’s!” I knew what “thou shalt not kill” meant, but what the heck did “covet” mean to a 10-year old? You get my point!

One of the most frustrating, yet most factual things that I’ve known for years is what Pastor Allen Speegle has said over and over again (paraphrased) – “You attract what you are, and what you are is a result of what you believe.” We act upon what we believe. Look at the areas of your life today that are not the way you want them.


Are you broke as a joke? What do you believe about money?

Are your relationships a mess?  What do you believe about relationships?

Are you attracting the same wrong type of person you’ve always attracted?

What do you believe about love?

You get the picture here.

About a year ago, I attended a life mastery weekend workshop. I took part in an exercise that exposed what my beliefs were in the area of love. I had to answer the question – What is love? My answers were things like, “the reason for living, God, the purpose of life”….and on and on I went. As I kept answering this question, I thought I had begun to run out of answers. As I came to the end of my “conscious” answers and began tapping into my subconscious, my real belief was exposed. “Love” to me represented things like abandonment, pain, rejection, instability and the list went on. Well, if I attract what I believe (and I will!), then I will attract someone who will cause or bring about those things. Then, my faulty belief will just be reinforced as my truth again. Well, I certainly don’t want to invite any more pain and rejection into my life (do you?), especially with a life partner, so I have decided to change my truth in that area!!


There are areas of your life that you are going to attract great things, but there will also be areas of your life that you will attract…well…not-so great things! You are always attracting something! Don’t get discouraged when you see the not-so good things! Let me remind you that you are a work in progress! Jesus is your partner! When you are experiencing the not-so good things that your beliefs have attracted, embrace them! Look at them, and examine them from the perspective of “responsibility.” By taking ownership for your part, you become a victor instead of a victim! Know why? It is because confronting faulty beliefs and taking responsibility for them “is” the catalyst for change if you choose for it to be! It really is your choice! When what you really believe is exposed, you can finally deal with it – effectively!!!

I choose not to allow my faulty beliefs to stay that way! With the help of Jesus, my mentors and close friends, I begin to focus my attention on the identity of Christ. I begin making an exchange – what I believe (my view and opinion) for what HE believes (His view and opinion)! I make a conscious decision to focus on His attributes, and not mine! As I persuade my heart by focusing on Him and not me, I begin to change the subconscious part of me. Whatever area that is not lining up with what God says my life should look like becomes exposed to His truth, and not my interpretation. Don’t you think we’ve given our faulty belief systems way too much of our lives? It’s time to embrace a new identity – you have been given one by the God of the universe, who loves you more than you know! Press in to find that new identity, and make the exchange!

In His Grip, Grace, and Strength,

TDahl

When Mis-Trust Causes Poor Judgment of Others

Don't you just love it when you have to pay for other people's character flaws?  What I mean is when people attack your character based on their past experiences with others.  One thing I have learned throughout my 40 year life, is that people are going to think what they are going to think.  At times they will die believing the worst about someone rather than admit the possibility that they have poor judgement.   When you encounter one of these individuals, it doesn't take long to figure out the symptom of why they struggle with any relationship.  They mis-trust deeply!  It's like they are always on guard waiting for the person they are mis-trusting to validate the faulty beliefs they have developed in their heart based on their own life experiences.  It is always very sad to me because for years I lived that way.  I'm incredibly thankful that God brought someone to my life to work that horrible belief system out of my heart.

The person that helped me through that faulty belief system I had, stuck by me when I would lash out in mis-trust.  He was able to separate my behavior from my worth as an individual.  We went through some tough stuff in our friendship.  One day I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of this belief system that kept robbing me of peace and had robbed me of great friendships.  My mis-trust of people consumed me.  I would always have to validate and re-validate my position.  I would need to have other's agree with me, and they would (that area was never lacking) and then I could continue to reinforce my faulty belief .  Meanwhile, the people I mis-trusted were sleeping just fine if you know what I mean.  As I really dealt with my pain and mis-trust issues years ago, I realized something very profound and actually found it in the Bible.  You judge people based on the same things that operate in your own life.  It's true...100% of the time!  It may not be immediately revealed, but it will come to light eventually.  The reason I couldn't trust, was because I myself, was not trustworthy!  OUCH!  Now, don't get me wrong, you don't just trust anyone.  You have to use wisdom.  However, when you've built somewhat of a relationship with someone, when something goes array, you shouldn't automatically assume the worst.  In fact, if you've developed a healthy belief system, you should automatically assume the best, until that person proves themselves otherwise.  I can't tell you how many relationships, good relationships with good people that I've let go because I refused to trust and refused to look at myself in the situation.   

I follow a general rule in my heart - 99.999% of the time, people are not out to "hurt" you!  That would just be evil!  When they are out to hurt you, it's based on their own hurt!  Hurting people hurt people.  It's easy to empathize when you realize that its out of one's own hurt that they lash out.  Maybe you are one of those individuals who deals with this faulty belief system in your heart!  The good news is....there is healing in Jesus Christ!  If this is you, it's time to recognize this, because I can promise you  its holding you back from having great relationships!!  Since dealing with my mis-trust issues, I've been blessed with amazing friendships.  Friendships with individuals that allow me to be me!   We can hash things out when we disagree and still have a knowing in our hearts of our  love for each other.  Friendships that you can share you deepest fears and insecurities and know that they are safely kept even in the midst of an all out fight!  I remember a major fight I had with one of my closest friends.  It resulted in her storming out of my house, both of us balling our eyes out while apart, followed by a knock at my door about 30 minutes later, with a mutual greeting... a warm, tear filled embrace and a mutual I'm sorry!  We laugh at that fight today, but what saved our friendship is that both of us had a healthy belief system and a love for each other, coupled with a deep knowing that when the rubber meets the road, we had each others backs and always will! 

Maybe you are asking,....does this describe me?  Well, one way to answer this question is to look at past friendships and see how they ended and why.  Examine if this behavior keeps repeating itself in someway, shape, or form with the result of an ended friendship, etc.  Do you desire deep, meaningful relationships but somehow never have that desire fulfilled?  These are just a few ways to discover and unlock what's keeping you from the great relationships that God desires you have!  Begin to ask God to show you the why's of this faulty belief systems and ask Him to reveal the steps you need to take to create a new belief system!  I never could have imagined the amazing relationships God desired for me, until I decided to take the steps with God to overcome my own hurt and have the willingness to embrace something new.  Mis-trust always causes poor judgment!  Decide now to disrupt what's causing your mis-trust.

In His Grip, Grace, and Strength,

TDahl

...And It Will Be Established For You

Can I just say I love the Word of God!  As I get older, I love it more and more.  I think as we age, we begin to focus on the the things that are truly important.  Things that are eternally focused and not temporal.  I'll never forget a statement my pastor made several years back in regards to material possessions.  He said "just drive by a junk yard and think to yourself, that used to be someone's dream (referencing the scrap pieces of metal and smashed up vehicles). 

I've been evaluating several areas of my personal life (which I do often), but something is different this time.  I'm not exactly sure what the change has been this time, but there has been a change.  I'm looking at how I'm spending my time.  I'm examining how I'm spending my money, even moreso than I ever have (I do this often as well-its a must for me).  I'm really challenging my ideas, thoughts and actions and asking myself...are these eternal minded or temporal minded?  Let me give you an example....

I enjoy "Starbucks!"  Yes, who on earth doesn't?  Hello!  I do not go there often, unless someone has given me a gift card because anytime you pay almost 400%, more, yes, I said 400% more for something than it actually costs the retailer, you know your literally throwing your money away (my sister used to run a "Starbucks" so I know a little about costs here).  However, it doesn't keep me from doing it once in a while.  This last time I went in and paid my $4.65 for my Venti Skinny Vanilla Latte add foam and whip (my mouth is watering) it somehow didn't taste so good.  See, for $4.65 I could have invested that in someone's life in Haiti (I went there on a missions trip).  I could have went and bought a jar of spaghetti sauce and a package of pasta and provided a meal to a family who doesn't know where their next meal is coming from.  I could have sown it into my churches offering to help pay for postage when mailing a CD to someone who has never heard the gospel.  I could have sown it into the ministry network I'm a part of to help support pastor's in Africa that are going to be part of a leadership conference soon.  It's amazing what $4.65 can really do these days!  These are "eternally" minded thoughts!  It almost made me sick that night when I purchased that "Starbucks" and sipped on it, with these eternally minded thoughts rolling around in my mind.  I didn't even enjoy my purchase!  In fact, my mouth has stopped watering just thinking about that night.

I've really been thinking and pondering lately on my life's purpose.  The reason why I'm here, right now, for just this time.  God chose me to be here on this earth at this time in history!  Why?  You cannot get a temporal answer on that question - it can only be answered from an eternal perspective.  God's KINGDOM perspective!  This is what I know...God gave each of us gifts and talents.  I believe with all my heart that He also chose that our gifts and talents would also be our earthly provision.  It would be how you made a living to support your family, and expand the Kingdom.  We are part of a Kingdom!!  A Kingdom so big that it's eternal!  It's forever and ever!!!  Let that sink in for a moment.  Foolishly, we've built our own kingdoms that have very little to do with eternity.

Now, I am not saying don't ever have a "Starbucks" or don't ever go out to eat, etc.  I'm not saying don't live in a nice house, and have nice things.  It is more than ok to prosper!  God desires prosperity for His children.  What I am saying is lets closely evaluate our investments into Kingdom things and compare them to our investments in earthly things.  We need to be Kingdom minded and then earthly minded!  Many of us have put Kingdom mindedness in last position, when it should be in first position!  MYSELF INCLUDED in that statement!

As I was reading the Word this morning I went to one of my favorite scriptures...Job 22:28.  However, as I was reading, the Lord prompted me to read the verses above that scripture....let's take a look together.

Job 22:21-28 [I've noted several translations]

21.   Agree with God, and be at peace; thereby good will come to you. [Revised Standard Version]

22.   Accept the teaching He gives; keep His words in your heart.

23.   If you return to the Almighty, you will prosper. If you put wrongdoing out of your tent (home) [God's Word Translation]

24.   Throw away your gold; dump your finest gold in the dry stream bed.

25.   Let Almighty God be your gold, and let him be silver, piled high for you.

26.   Then you will always trust in God and find that He is the source of your joy.

27.   When you pray, He will answer you, and you will keep the vows you made. [Good News Translation]

28.   You will also decree a thing, and it will be established for you; And light will shine on your ways.    [New American Standard Version]

I'm reminded of my Aunt Rosemary who pretty much gave up all her earthly possessions and served as a missionary on an Indian reservation in Nageezi, New Mexico.  She was there for 5 years.  She had to draw her own water for baths.  Her bathroom was an outhouse and she lived in a little trailer.  She believed God for everything she needed.  God gave her the desire to serve and her focus was Kingdom minded (it would have to be to live in those conditions and LOVE what you do) and she lived on the financial support of those who had "Kingdom" thinking!  I've asked myself...what am I willing to give up?  I am choosing to exchange my "earthly" thinking for "Kingdom" thinking!   I don't think we're giving up anything to be honest, because we are gaining so much more!  As I read the above scriptures, I have embraced these verses of scripture as a whole and say "God I want to trust YOU, and not me anymore!"  

My hearts desire is to be a successful music artist in both the secular and Christian markets-AND I WILL BE!!!   However, I want to have Kingdom minded thinking in my decisions.  My hearts desire is to touch the world with my gifts and talents that God has given to me and to leave a legacy that lives beyond myself, pointing people to Jesus Christ!  I want to invest more in my church financially!  In fact, I'm saying it right now, that my heart's desire is to build the housing for single parents that is part of the vision and mission of my church.  In order for me to do that, I need to be Kingdom minded on the receiving end as well as the giving end!  That means it begins now, in the small things.  I have to open my heart to receive incredible prosperity (that is a mindset) and to also develop the mindset to sow incredible prosperity back!  It starts with me declaring and then watching it be established "FOR" me!  What is your declaration?  

In His Grip, Grace and Strength,

TDahl 

When We Struggle...

I want to talk about something that all of us deal with from time to time....STRUGGLE

Dictionary.com defines struggle like this:   to contend with an adversary or opposing force.

I feel that even when we are not met with huge "struggle" we continually have an opposing force in our lives...its called being human.  We make decisions throughout our daily lives to either respond or react to circumstances that oppose our ideals and desires.  For example, there are moments when I just want to react to someone's stupidity instead of respond maturely.  There are things that get under my skin, such as people being late all the time, or making sarcastic comments directed toward me (just freakin' tell me to my face rather than dance around an issue), or being one way to my face and 2 seconds later talking about me behind my back, because someone else has another opinion.  Can I just say get get a flippin' life already!  We can choose the high road, or lower ourselves to that person's level.  And yes, I said lower, because we need to have a standard operating in our own lives that we are unwilling to compromise on, for anyone!  So there are struggles we face on a daily basis that don't put us into crisis mode, but can get the best of us at times.  Hopefully we are mature enough to apologize when we react instead of respond to these types of things.  I want to talk about what we do when we face big struggles.  Life changing struggles and how we should respond to those struggles.

Can I just say that I am one who knows struggle!  I've been a single parent for 16+ years (that's huge).  I've had financial struggles for most of that time.  I've had people judge me because of my past (Christians no less).  I've had people judge my parenting style.  I've lost everything and had to start over.  I've had friendships dissolve in front of my eyes because I've had to take the high road on some issues.  I've lost jobs.  I've been sexually assaulted.  The list goes on and on.  So, I know struggle. 

Over the past few months, I've had to purposely "fix" my attention on some areas that, if not dealt with, could have literally taken me so far off course in life.  The struggles have seemed to nail me from every direction - family, personal, parenting, friendships, relationships, music, and the list goes on.  My way of dealing with life struggles is to withdraw for a period of time from the sources of the pain, and surround myself with what I call, "My Core."  This consists of individuals who have known me for many years, are solid in Christ, and LIVE the WORD obediently!  Included in "my core" are also individuals that have known pain themselves and have overcome.  I think its super important to have relationships with people that really identify with the things in which we struggle.  Its very difficult for me, not impossible, but difficult for me to open my heart to someone that cannot identify with my struggle.  Unless of course, its one of my spiritual father's.  There is something about having that "Spiritual Dad" that can just make things clear!  (I encourage you to find one or several.) 

I want to give you some keys in which to deal with personal struggle, so you are able to rise above the circumstance, identify your weakness and begin the process of exchanging it for God's strength!  

1.  Deal with bitterness and FAST!

Whether its others that have judged you, or you feel mis-understood, or you even feel that God isn't rescuing you (we feel this people...let's be real) and making things better, don't get bitter!  I had a conversation with a woman recently that is having huge issues in her church and she is dealing with bitterness.  Listen, bitterness causes resentment and resentment causes us to have a critical spirit!  When we become critical we cannot see things clearly!!!  A critical spirit robs us, not anyone else, of life! 

2.  Choose the TRUTH!

Look, even if you are frustrated with God because you feel He's not helping you in the time you are requesting it, you need to persuade your heart!  God is ON YOUR SIDE!  You must be completely persuaded on that issue!  God does not react to our temper tantrums.  God responds to our situations and struggles.  His plan will not fail!  I am reminded of some song lyrics...."sometimes He calms the storm with a whisper peace be still, He can settle any sea, but it doesn't He will.  Sometimes He holds us close and lets the winds and waves go wild.  Sometime He calms the storms and other times He calms His child."  I love this song, and while I don't agree with all of the lyrics because I don't believe God brings pain to our lives, I do believe He brings divine discontent so we see doors of opportunity He's preparing for us.  See, sometimes we get so comfortable and miss where He wants to bring us.  We need to know our identity in Christ and we also need to know the power of Christ within us.  He will cause us to overcome!!  No if's, and's, or but's about it!!! 

3.  Understand that rejection is not personal.

Rejection is a painful place and is usually very personal to us.  Refuse to let it be!    We as human beings can miss it so much!  Every single one of us!  We are far from perfect, but we have a Savior, who in His perfection, can identify with rejection! Jesus was rejected! 

4.  We have a race to run - get rid of the baggage!           

As a former track runner in high school, I would get the lightest weight, running shoes and seriously light weight spandex when I was competing.  It's no accident when you see runners wearing as little as possible when they are in competition.  You don't want anything to hold you back and slow you down.  Its the same in our race that God has ordained and set before us.  Identify the baggage that is holding you back and deal!   

As for us, we have this large crowd of witnesses around us. So then, let us rid ourselves of everything that gets in the way, and of the sin which holds on to us so tightly, and let us run with determination the race that lies before us.   Hebrews 12:1 [Good News Translation]

5.  Look at the opportunity, not the problem!

It's easy to be overwhelmed with the problem, but I encourage you to look at the opportunity.  Whatever you are dealing with, it's an opportunity to trust God!  Focus on the opportunity!  Focus on the fact that God will rescue you - it's His Word!  Don't take your problem into your own hands.  Your strength is futile in comparison to God's.  Choose to exchange your problem for God's opportunity!  Your weakness for His strength.  You are just one choice away from resolving your struggle!  Leave it in the Master's hands and continue to run your race!  There is a finish line and it's gonna be a celebration when you cross that line!

In His Grip, Grace and Strength,

TDahl