Mr. "C" and the Power of Believe

As I sit here this morning at my dining room table, my heart is full.  During the Christmas season we tend to hear stories about "belief" more so than any other.  This is after all the season of "wonder!" The story of Jesus' birth is my favorite of this season!  Then there is Santa Clause, and Elf on the Shelf (which by the way I never heard of until my dear friend and pastor, Jill did this with her kids - yes I lived under a rock).   Then of course our eyes see so much beauty during this season that we can't help but believe...in something and someone bigger than ourselves.  Today, I don't want to talk about this part of "believe" however.  I want to talk about the real power of "believe!"  Take a journey with me.....

A long, long, time ago there was a man named Mr. "C."  Mr. "C." was a good man, a hard working man, and a man that set a standard from what I've been told.  He was serious about business and had an expectation from his employees.  He based that expectation on his own work ethic!  In other words, if he expected something from you, he had already set that example personally.  He formed a good friendship with one of the men who worked for him who's son needed a job.  Mr. "C" gave that boy a job and said "Son, your dad got this job for you, but he can't keep it for you!"  This man's son was a rebellious, wild child, but had a good work ethic.  Mr. "C" taught that boy a lot!  

Several years passed by and this boy had become a man.  He still worked for Mr. "C," but he had gotten into some pretty big trouble from making really bad choices outside of work.  The kinds of choices that change how people feel about you.  One opinion it didn't change is how Mr. "C" felt about him.  The difference with Mr. "C" is that he really had invested in this young man and saw potential in him.  He "believed" in him.  He was able to see beyond the choices this young man had made.  He believed in him so much that he bailed him out of jail!  Mr. "C" told this young man, "Son, you can work off this bail money by working Saturday's until you pay it off!"  The young man was so grateful and did just that!  

Another several years passed by and this young man decided to leave his job.  Mr. "C" didn't want him to go, but the man left anyway.  A few years later the young man got into some pretty serious trouble again.  He had just lost his brother in a fire and went off the deep end.  Mr. "C" sent word that he wanted him to come back.  The young man landed himself in jail again and Mr. "C" was going to bail him out.  The young man said, "No, I'm going to serve my time so I can get this over with!"  Mr. "C" told him his job would be waiting for him when he was done.  

When the man got out of jail, he and Mr. "C" had a talk.  He made a promise that day to Mr. "C" that he would keep his life together.  This man had lost everything....even his home.  He had been living from place to place, and was even on the run from the law for over a year before he turned himself in. This man had hit the bottom.  When he returned to work for Mr. "C" it was as if nothing had happened.  That is what I call "the power of believe!"

Today Mr. "C" is in heaven and this man still works for him!  Mr. "C's" kids own and operate his business, and you know what?  His kids are just like him!   I'm privy to the stories of Mr. "C" because the man who experienced the power of believe in his life is my husband.  While I never got to meet Mr. "C" on this side of heaven, I can assure you that will be my first request when I get to heaven.  I want to meet Mr. "C" and tell him thank you!  

Never under estimate the power of believe!  This is what changes lives from the inside out!

Rock Your Story,

TDahl

Grace Ridge

I was going to wait to actually post a blog about my upcoming life transition, but I just can't!!  I'm too over the moon, excited for this current "chapter" of my story that is well under way.  So here goes...

When I met my husband in 2013, little did I know what God had planned for us.  I was just about to enter the season of life of "empty nest" as my daughter had graduated high school and she was on her way out the door to spread her wings and fly (that's another story...aye yi yi).  I had been believing God for years for a husband, but there was absolutely nothing on the horizon....until that day his big truck rolled up at my bestie's birthday party!  I was sunk, he was sunk....and everyone that attended her party, speculated it as well.  I love our story!!!

Jeff and I knew pretty knew early on that we had met "the one," in each other.  While I'd like to say that it was one big perfect whirlwind romance, that is not the case.  We had major obstacles to overcome.  Not with each other, but with the season of life each of us were in.  He had nearly 3 years before his daughter was grown, and I had passed that season.  There was a lot of chaos in trying to create a life together.  We originally were going to wait to get married because of all the drama llama going on, but we decided otherwise and just lived apart for the first year of our marriage.  We wanted to keep things stable for his daughter, but at the same time begin the process of building our lives together.  It was a tough season to say the least, but God graced us to get through and in the process it built a strength in Jeff and I, as a married couple.  What was intended to drive us apart, actually brought us closer!  Daddy God knows how to make those obstacles in life we face, opportunities!  No doubt about it!!!

It was during this time we began the process of house hunting.  We knew we needed a unique property.  Now, Jeff is a very simple man.  He's not a materialistic person whatsoever.  He likes his mud trucks and mud toys.  I, on the other hand, am not simple!  While I'm far from being materialistic, I do like nice things.  A nice home is a must for me, because I like to entertain and I love to serve others.  I grew up watching my mom use our beautiful home to do the same.  It's just in me!  Jeff and I didn't want to be house poor, but at the same time, we wanted something perfect for us.  Our price and our desire....well lets just say was REALLY difficult, nearly impossible to find. We needed to find at least a 4 bedroom home with enough property to build a shop, no HOA, and a close drive to his work, and of course within a price range of "miracle!"  Easier said than done.  

About 6 months before we got married I was driving out to Clermont via the back roads.  I loved taking the back roads to his house because it reminded me of home where I grew up.  I loved the area!  Of course I would....there were absolutely no homes listed for under 300K.  Way over the budget!  As I was driving there I had this nudging in my heart to turn down this road called "Grace Ridge!"  So, I did!  As I was driving around this big loop basically, I saw this empty house with ZERO curb appeal.  The weeds and brush had grown up.  There was trash in the front yard.  BUT, I saw a HUGE 2 bay workshop behind the house.  I looked at the home, the lot, and simply closed my eyes to see the potential.  This was our house!!!!!!  I knew it!!!!  It just clicked in my spirit and I saw "us" there!  

The following Monday I went into work and looked the property address up on public record.  Sure enough the property was in foreclosure.  I began to follow the court hearings and records on this property.  We had a long, long, long way to go.  I thought to myself, this is crazy!  In the interim, Jeff brought my bestie's husband to see the property when they came to town.  So that told me he had some "hopes" about the possibility too!  

In the meantime, I still continued looking for homes.   We had been looking for nearly 2 years now. In our frustration, we even expanded our search to another area, which would be a lengthy drive for both of us.  Our needs were just too unique!  I grew tired.  I gave up.  I started again.  We found a house that we were "ok" with, but loved the property it was built on, so we made an offer.  They rejected.  We didn't pursue.  I was over it all!!!  Then, I went back to Grace Ridge.  It was STILL in the foreclosure process.  

Meanwhile back on the family front, more change had taken place.  Jeff's daughter was now residing with my mom and I.  We enrolled her in Lake Tech to complete her GED.  Jeff then moved from his home to mine.  With God's perfect plan, Jeff's son moved in to Jeff's house in Clermont, as a help to us, so that Jeff had a place to store all of his mud toys and tools (he has a small shop there), until we found a house.  We just all pulled together to make this thing work until we found what we needed.  

Then it happened.....GRACE RIDGE was listed!!!!!  Plot twist....it was insanely out of our price range!!!  I called our realtor and said "Jon, humor me for a minute!  I've been following a house that has been in foreclosure for nearly 2 years.  They've just listed it and its way out of our price range, but can we look at it?  I just want to see if its something we want to pursue IF they drop the price." Jon said "absolutely! Let's do it!"  We went to the house and spent 2 1/2 hours there.  It was EVERYTHING we needed and more.  It had God's fingerprints all over it for us!!!!  We stood on the pool deck together, and I just simply said "Daddy God, if this is for us, make it happen!  If it isn't, we'll be content where we're at!"  I watched that listing every day and then it happened....they dropped the price....significantly!!!  I was on it!!!  I called Jon and said "let's make an offer!"  We offered, they countered.  We offered again, they countered.  Then another person made an offer.  We offered.  They rejected.  Jon said he had never seen anything like this before.  Then I felt that the bank was trying to fear of loss us.  Ummmmmm news flash....don't try the "fear of loss" tactic with me.  When any kind of manipulation is present, then fear will be present.  God does not use fear!  Life tip...if fear enters your heart when it comes to gaining or losing something, let it go!  I said "Daddy God, I am not going to fear losing something because if its meant to be ours, it will be.  If this  house is ours, they will call us!"  A week later, Jon called us and said the bank wanted to work with us.  They asked if we could come up another 5K.  We did.  THEN they rejected our offer again because they wanted us to pay closing costs!  Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!  We almost had to laugh about it at this point.  Finally, we made our final offer, they accepted, and we're closing on our beautiful "Grace Ridge," December 11th.  

God led us to "Grace Ridge!"  I find the address absolutely perfect!!!!!  Grace translated, means God's ability!  This house is becoming ours because of God's ability.  We put Him in charge and He put the right people together and gave us incredible favor with the bank.  God's plan for our lives is not absent of obstacles, however, when you view those obstacles as opportunities for God to show up and show off, you will never be disappointed.  Miracles happen!!!

God gave Jeff a HUGE workshop (with a very nice apartment in it, so his son is going to rent the apartment).  He gave me a spare bedroom (well eventually when my daughter decides to fly the coop again - yea, she came back home recently) that has one solid wall of built in book shelves.  I've named it my "writing room!"  I've always dreamed of a room that had a built in book shelf.  He gave me a fireplace in this home as well.  The floor plan is perfect!!!  I get to redesign my 80's dated kitchen (I love redesigning kitchens by the way - I worked for a builder for nearly 4 years and that was one of my favorite parts of my job.)  And, not that I'm a pool fan, because I'm not, but I love to entertain, so we will be able to have guests over to swim and enjoy beautiful Summer nights out on the screened in pool deck.  Seriously PERFECT for us!!!

While I have so many things to be thankful for this Thanksgiving Day, I'm incredibly thankful that Daddy God has made this happen for us!  He's got us!!!  He's got you!!!  

Happy Thanksgiving!

Rock Your Story,

TDahl

Is Your Ego Causing Brokenness?

I want to preface this blog by saying two things -  every single one of us comes equipped with an ego. Ego is not bad in and of itself, but when we live unaware of our ego's, it can be destructive to both ourselves and to others.  

Ego as defined by Webster's Dictionary is egotism, conceit, and self importance.  It is also defined as one's image of oneself.  

Confidence defined is belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance.

Arrogance as defined is the offensive display of superiority or self-importance; overbearing pride.

Broken people have broken perceptions, and we are all broken people!  We see things through the lenses of our own experiences. Confident people often times are misjudged because the ones who are misjudging are insecure and have a low self worth.  I've been both!  I've been the confident one and I've been the judgmental one. I think if we are all honest, we've all been there and will be there again and again.  

"Broken people have broken perceptions, and we are all broken people!"  TDahl

It is incredibly important to be aware of oneself.  I want to become a more authentic and more vulnerable individual each and every day that I live.  I want to live in an awareness that the person sitting next to me at work, or the person I'm worshiping with at church, or where ever I am, may have tremendous insecurity and low self worth or they may be the most confident human being on the planet.  Either way, I want to live in a constant awareness of others through Romans 12:3.  

Romans 12:3 - CJB

For I am telling every single one of you, through the grace that has been given to me, not to have exaggerated ideas about your own importance.  Instead, develop a sober estimate of yourself based on the standard which God  has given to each of you, namely, trust.

Every single person on this planet has purpose!  Every single person on this planet has the ability to help another person discover their purpose AND help them live it!  It's about all of us, as Jesus followers, coming together and helping each other discover who we are in Christ, and encouraging each other to utilize our gifts and talents, and to touch others by "their" own personal design.  

We've been given this creative ability by Daddy God!  We are not commissioned to create mini versions of ourselves and "followers" of ourselves.  We are designed to look for the treasure God has placed within each person, and to partner WITH God, to make the impact in their life that will result in those individuals desiring to follow Christ with reckless abandon, living their own personal mission, designed by God.  That get's me soooo excited!!!!  There is nothing more satisfying than to see someone come alive to who they are in HIM, and to their purpose!  I seriously could jump up and down right now, just thinking about that!!!  

One of my favorite quotes in the entire world is by Marianne Williamson - 

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” 

We must be constantly aware of ourselves, in a balanced way.  We must be aware of our egos and what kind of an impact we are making.  Ego is about how we want others to see us!  It's insecurity masked as confidence.  It causes brokenness to yourself and others, because it is not authentic.  However, when we are confident in the reality of who we are in Him, and empowered by that reality, our love for others becomes supernatural, and reflects the love of God in us, more than it reflects us! 

I'll end this blog with this......I hope it challenges all of us to continually check ourselves and remain balanced and humble.

  "If something reflects us, more than it does HIM, we've got an arrogance and ego issue."                                                                                                                                                                               TDahl

Is your ego causing brokenness?

Rock Your Story!

TDahl

Your Dreams May Be the Map to Your Future

When I was a little girl, I was smitten by minister's who traveled cross country in their big RV's and 5th Wheels.  I remember so clearly how I would go to their homes on wheels and just chit chat with them.  I was 7 years old and absolutely fascinated with their way of life.  My family, was one of the families within the church who would always have these "traveling minister's" over to our home for Sunday dinner.  So, I actually got a better view into their lives, because as a chit chatty 7 year old, I would talk their ears off with my plethora of questions.  I heard a lot about Jesus in those conversations.  

After my parent's went through a divorce, we were no longer the family that served these various minister's when they visited our church.  In fact, we were ostracized from our church.  Divorce was clearly not acceptable to many of our church going "friends!"  Maybe that's part of the reason why I'm so for the "underdog" and the "rejected!"  I've experienced it time and time again in my personal journey.

I've gotten to experience some pretty amazing things throughout my forty-four years on this planet. See, Daddy God gave me these really cool gifts that I love, like singing, speaking, and writing, and he coupled that with a heart that loves to serve.  I'm what you consider a "Creative!"  I'm thankful that Daddy God saw to it that my heart has remained pliable in His care.  There was a season of my life that my heart hardened and became numb, many years ago.  I had chosen to be part of a world in which only the strong survive, so having compassion and empathy for people was a sure way to get your heart broken and be taken advantage of in no time.  While I tried to be that strong and hard heart-ed individual, it simply was  not me, despite my efforts.  I'm thankful for that indeed!

I've always been a girl with big dreams!  In hindsight, I see how God has trained me to walk in the dreams I've carried with me since the tender age of 7.  I believe God has placed those dreams in my heart, and several of them have come to pass.  I'm already living those dreams on a small scale and have been working to live them on a larger scale because I want my life to make a difference and make an even greater impact while I'm here.  I want to leave a legacy for  others to be inspired to live the lives they were created and destined to live, despite  life circumstances.  I believe that my dreams as a young girl, were a map for my future!  They had to have been because I'm still pursuing them.  I believe I have a special purpose in this earth, and it has taken many years to cultivate the calling that is on my life.  Daddy God has been hard at work, behind the scenes, shaping me, grooming me, growing me, maturing me, and that dreadful word...pruning me!  I hate the pruning seasons.  That's when the living stuff gets cut off!  OUCH!  It is a very necessary part of growth though.  VERY necessary!!  

Pay attention to your dreams, not the whimsical, fairy tale ones (those are fun), but the ones that stick with you!  The ones that ignite something in your heart.  The ones that give your life significance and meaning. Your dreams are maps to your future!  We were all meant to touch the world in our own way.  No one else can live your purpose. In fact, I loathe when I hear ministers say "if you don't do what God has called you to do, He'll find someone else!"  NO HE WON'T!  Only you can do what YOU were created to do!  What impact do you want to make during your time here?  What legacy do you want to leave?  

Rock Your Story!

TDahl

  

When Life is not Fair

These past few weeks have presented yet another twist and turn in the journey we call life.  My husband's brother was in a motorcycle accident and was taken off of life support a week after the accident.  He was a father, a son, a brother, and a significant other.  Many also called him friend! 

"Life is not fair!"

Oh the times I've made that statement, heard that statement, and at the same time tried to understand that statement.  Life just doesn't make sense sometimes.  We have this perception that life picks and chooses who it will give tragedy and loss to, or who it will save and bless.  Throughout the years, when tragedy has occurred in the lives of people, I've even heard God blamed. 
 

As I sit back and watch an amazing family try to make sense of this tragedy and ask the question of "why," with the full knowledge that no one will even come close to answering that dreaded question, I just pray for the peace that passes our human understanding.  I believe if we're honest, that question looms over every one of our heart's right now.  In those moments when I myself question, I come back to a scripture in the Word of God that says "it rains on the just and the unjust."  In other words, we can be the most kind, loving, and all around great person or we can be the opposite.  Tragedy and loss happen to all of us!  We just don't know when, and we don't know how, but we will experience it, because it is part of the journey called life.  It doesn't make it any easier knowing that either.

In a perfect world, we would never die, and we would never experience pain or loss.  After all, that is how our Creator set it up to begin with.  He also gave us this great responsibility called "choice!"  Adam and Eve made a choice, and with that choice came great consequence, and unfortunately caused a great consequence to the human race as a whole.   However, Jesus came to redeem that choice, and for that I'm so incredibly thankful!

While this time is difficult, beyond words, I am thankful that this is not the end.  I'm thankful we have HOPE in the ONE who created us.   I'm thankful HE has us covered!  In this time of grief and loss from a human perspective, my brother-in-law lives on - both in the great memories that many have, and the fact that he is with Daddy God - perfected in all ways! 

When we try to understand "why," sometimes  the answer is really as simple as "because an accident happened."  God is not some great puppet master up in the sky causing tragedy, or assessing if we deserve to be saved, be it physically or spiritually.  No, He made a way for us through Jesus Christ.  Yes, at times we experience physical healing on this side.  I cannot answer why some and not all.  I do believe that God knows and He sees the end from the beginning.  He knows our hearts and every intricate detail of our lives.  I believe He prepared my brother-in-law for this moment!  There are things that people would call "coincidence," I however do not believe in coincidence.  I believe God has His ways of preparing us and as we move from focusing on the loss, to learning to live with loss, we see things in an even greater light.

Life is not fair through the scope of our human existence.  God, however gave us "fair" on an eternal level, through the blood of Christ!  And that my friend's is what this journey is all about. 

Whatever you may be going through today, know that God has got you.  He will make himself known to you through the things that speak to your heart.  He's very personal and if you allow Him to comfort you in those moments when life is not fair, He will show you great things and give you a peace in the midst of the storms of your life. 
 

Rock Your Story,

TDahl 



To Know Love

Love - we hear so many things about it!  We see it in the movies packaged perfectly.  We have books written in depth about it.  We go to conferences to learn about it, and the list goes on.  While I feel it is super important to gain an understanding from a healthy perspective, so you have some idea of what the experience should mirror, there is also an ideology that society has marketed, that we've been fed and led to believe.  I think more often than not, we tend to chase societies marketed version and when our experience doesn't line up (and it won't), we chuck it to the curb still in search of the ultimate "high" in love!   Now, I'm a pretty straight shooter, and I've got some things to say about "love," so buckle your seat belts and enjoy the ride!

 

My ideals about love were very skewed for many years.  Ever since I can remember, I've always lived with a fear of abandonment and rejection, because in my experience love always left.  Love, to me had never been a safe place.  So, you can probably imagine what my perfect and packaged list of all the qualities I wanted in my husband looked like.  Reflecting on my list, I think it was my safety net and my excuse to avoid love, because that person pretty much had to be "Jesus"  to win my heart.  Now, please don't misunderstand me, having a list with possibilities is not a bad thing, but you've got to be flexible too. 

 

When Jeff and I began dating, my two biggest fears were:   #1 - He was my best friends cousin and I did not want to mess up the friendship her and I share, had Jeff and I not worked out!  #2 - He was not my list!  He did not fit the mold I had detailed and outlined in my journal almost 20 years prior to meeting him.  A friend of mine, who really had no idea that I was struggling with "my list" per say, told me out of the blue one day to "chuck my list!"  That moment was a God moment for me!  I revisited my list once again and noticed that the most important quality I had noted was "his heart" and there was no mistaking that Jeff had a heart like no other.  See, I had this idea I was going to marry a minister and we were going to minister together and we were going to do all these "Jesus" things together.  Jeff doesn't even go to church!  Now, "religious" people, pipe down - I didn't say he wasn't a believer, I said he doesn't go to church!  He's not anti-church, whatsoever!  He just gets bored.  Ask my husband to sit for an hour and a half to two hours!  You better be engaging and funny to keep his attention for that long!  My husband has shown me more Jesus than 99% of the people that walk around with a billboard declaring they're Christians.  He loves people with his actions and not just his words!  He inspires me to love others!  He is my Jesus with skin on! 

 

 

 

To know love and experience the love that Jeff and I share, is what I've longed for my entire life.  He makes me feel safe and secure.  He protects me.  He looks out for me.  He loves my daughter and my mom and gives of himself for us.  He's God's man for me!!  Absolutely no doubt about it!!  We accept each other as we are and inspire each other to become better.  We have a deep mutual respect for each other and honor each other's place in our lives.  It has been more of a learning curve for me on the whole "providing" and "being taken care of" factor.  I'm a very independent woman and my best friend (his cousin) has been my biggest coach in this area.  I can't even tell you how many times I've called her and asked her how to handle Jeff doing what God created a man to do!  I've never experienced that!  I've always witnessed and experienced men "taking" from my family. 

 

I'm not quite sure why I felt so compelled to write about this particular subject today.  I just had this burning desire to write about it.  Maybe someone needs this today or some day down the road.  Maybe you struggle with a "list" (an ideology).  Maybe you struggle with "independence" instead of "interdependence."  Maybe you want "love" to look like the movies or what society has marketed to us - you know "romance, flowers, and fluff!"  Look, my husband is not romantic by nature, according to societies depiction that is, yet he's the most passionate man I've ever met when it comes to taking care of his family.  I'd much rather have that quality above fluff and stuff any day of the week.  Not that he doesn't have his romantic side, because he does and its authentic and better than any romance novel or movie, because this girl, this girl right here, knows love for the first time in her life!!  Sure, I've loved before, but not like this!  I was in love with the idea of love.  Now, I understand through experience what it is to know love!  

Tammy Dahl-Bolin

Trust, Respect, and Strong Women

Early this morning, I was slowly waking up and I felt this strong urge to write a blog on marriage.  Now, I'm no expert in marriage whatsoever!  I was a student of marriage though, for many years, and still am!!  I feel that I've learned a great deal from the example of my spiritual parents, Allen & Janice Speegle.  Recently, my husband and I attended their "Love that Lasts" marriage workshop.  Most of what they taught, I was privy to see in their marriage, over the course of twelve years.  Prior to their leadership, my former pastors, Mark and Crystal Evans also mirrored a phenomenal example of what a great marriage should and could be.  I attended marriage workshops, long before I was ever married!  I'm very thankful that God set me in the midst of those who understand what it takes to create an amazing marriage.  Now, I have the opportunity to work out the principles they've taught me, in my own marriage.  I'm incredibly grateful to Daddy God and them for their investment into my life!

 

 

 

First, I want to say, that although I'm in the "newlywed" stage, I am very well aware that marriage takes commitment, first and foremost, and it requires intention!  Intention to me, is action with a specific result in mind.  I feel many have "intentions" but rarely have "follow through!"  Intention to me is the act of following through! 

 

When Jeff and I began dating, there were specific qualities I looked for that would give me a gauge as to whether or not he was husband material.  I studied him.  I observed his actions and reactions to things.  I also did not stick my head in the sand in regards to my strengths and weaknesses.  I invested years in myself to cultivate a new mindset in regards to relationships.  I never witnessed a healthy marriage within my own family core while growing up, and my mindset about relationships early on in life, was very unhealthy.  I embraced that while working on me!  I also made it a priority in my single life, to learn about how men were wired!  What made them flourish?  What made them feel less than?  What was the main trigger of relationship breakdown?  I would ask questions and I found lots of answers throughout my years of study.  I would take myself through various scenarios in my minds eye on how I would respond to certain things in a relationship, etc., especially with the full knowledge that I am a very strong woman!  Though, I'm strong, I had full knowledge that I was not designed to wear the pants in the family, per say.  Many strong women, find it very difficult to give up, for lack of a better term, "control!"  Strong women have this ideal in their minds of how things should run!  If we are not careful, we can become "nags!"  Proverbs states (paraphrased) that "it is better to live on the corner of a rooftop than to live with a nag!"  It would break my heart if my husband ever referred to me as a nag, so I am extremely careful in my response to things, in the event I may not agree with a decision he makes. 

 

There were a few things on my so called "mate" checklist that needed to be so real for me.  First, I would have to have a great trust in him, and have a great respect for him.  The man that would even have half a chance in winning my heart would have to exhibit the character traits that would warrant trust and respect!   In following my heart, I knew it would feel safe, if he indeed possessed those qualities.  

 

Jeff obviously exhibited the qualities I needed because on July 30th we said "I do!"  I chose that man whole heartedly!  Jeff and I are both very strong individuals, yet the two of us have very tender hearts.  Do we see eye to eye on everything?  Nope!  Does that change the fact that I trust and respect that man?  Not at all!! Jeff and I communicate about everything.  We talk things out.  He has made some decisions that I do not agree with, however because he is my husband, and I both trust and respect him, I yield to his decision.  He is also very careful in making decisions that could hurt or dishonor my heart in any way.  In marriage we will not do everything right!  We are human beings.  However, if we remain fully aware that our words, actions, and decisions, can and will affect the other person, we are consciously keeping our marriage on priority status! 

 

Ladies, our men need our trust and respect!  You may say, "well, I can't respect my husband and I don't trust him because he makes bad decisions!"  My response to that is "and you don't?"  Listen, just because someone makes a bad decision or doesn't do what you would do, does not give you the right to disrespect your man!  Speak life to him!  You want to see him make better decisions?  Then encourage him!  Wives, you need to be the biggest encourager in your man's life!!!  Be the safe place he can fall!  If you want to see him change some things, then you start by being the change you want to see.  Respect is a choice! 

 

Strong women, MARRIAGE is for you!  You can be strong, but do not use your strengths in a way that it becomes a hindrance to your husband!  You may have the right answer to something, he may not, or vice-versa.  Allow your husband to be the man!  Trust his judgment!  You obviously trusted and respected him enough to say I do.  If you said "I do" not having trust and respect for him, that's on you, not him!  Take responsibility for your choice and then be honest with yourself and answer the question, is it possible for you to choose trust and respect for him and trust that the feelings will follow?  Only you can answer that question.

 

Marriage is for Strong Women!

 

TDahl