I, like every “girl” on the planet had often fantasized as a young woman, about the perfect “Fairy Tale” romance. Little girls are taught that they are the princesses waiting for their knight in shining armor to sweep them off of their feet, romance them, and ultimately rescue them with their love, protection, and loyalty. Every girl wants the fairy tale, but rarely do we really live what we’ve imagined.
I’ve felt for many years that I had lost the “Fairy Tale” due to my own choices and mistakes. When I had my daughter Mikayla, I put her first! I gave up dating to focus on raising her. I had settled in my mind that if I didn’t meet someone when she was super little, then I would just wait it out until she was grown. I did not want my heart to be distracted whatsoever. I could not afford heartbreak as I felt I needed my daughter to have the best of me and never the rest of me! I did a lot of heart work over those years of raising her. I had realized that in my youth and early twenties, I had accepted counterfeit romances. In my twenties I associated romance with being wined and dined. After all, my career of choice in those early years was a life in the adult entertainment business. Everything was externally focused.
My daughter Mikayla, graduated high school in May of 2013 and about 2 months prior to her graduation, I began dating again. Wow, had I lived under a rock for nearly twenty years. I was very cautious, and yet very naïve all at the same time. During this dating process, I realized something about myself that was nothing less than a miracle. I realized that I had a different heart. This heart of mine wasn’t hard like it had been all those years back. It was trusting and open! Something I’ve never known. I knew God had done extensive healing in me as I partnered with Him through all those years of singleness. God had to literally recreate a new heart within me. The Word of God promises He will do that, but to actually realize you’re living that promise, is an incredible revelation. I used to be as cold as ice when it came to the opposite sex. I had been hurt by men my entire life. I endured sexual abuse as a young child and teenager, and then later down the road I had worked in an industry where I chose to be abused! Needless to say, God had His work cut out for him when it came to me when I began my healing journey all those years ago.
When I met Jeff, I wasn’t looking! They say that’s when love hits you right smack upside the head. In fact, I had just gotten out of a 2 month dating relationship when I had met him, and jumping into another dating relationship was not on my agenda. My best friend, Beth was in town and it was her birthday. I had been invited over to her son and daughter-in-law’s house for her birthday party. As I was sitting there, I heard this loud truck roll up. I looked over at Beth and said, “Who’s that?” She replied, “Oh, that’s just Jeff.” As he walked up on the porch, I noticed that my heart was unexplainably drawn to him. After hanging out that night, and later finding out that there was some serious speculation going on as to whether something would happen between the two of us, Jeff FINALLY contacted me about a month and a half later. Our first official date was on his birthday at the end of August. I had the time of my life! I felt like God had literally put my life of rewind that day. I felt the innocence of my youth again. My youth had been stolen from me, so to feel that innocence again, especially in my heart, was incredibly profound. It was as if I had a heart that had never been hurt before. I choose to believe, I do! Until now, I have never known what it felt like to be protected in love. And that my friends, is the ultimate “fairy tale!” I have found the one in whom my heart calls home.
If you’re single and reading this, be encouraged! I challenge you to prepare yourself for the relationship you desire to have. Use this time to grow! Surround yourself with those whom have amazing marriages, and become a student of those relationships! I spent many years in singleness and I wouldn’t trade those years for anything. I had time to invest in myself, becoming the woman I needed to become to attract the relationship I desired. Because of that investment in myself I knew exactly what I needed a man to bring to the proverbial table of a relationship, and I was prepared to receive the desires of my heart.
Living the “REAL” life fairy tale – redeemed, restored, and loved fiercely,
TDahl
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